ternyata (memang) masih suka arsitektur...
im not a person who like to be categorized or tagged or identified, especially by what i wear, what i watch, what i read, what i listen, what i like, where i study, where i work, or any company or brand im standing with. no matter how precious they are. thats the highlight, not about how ugly they are (not yet mentioning it sometimes even more enjoyable to me, standing with 'the uglies', seeing people judging and not knowing, blinding themself :D). but judging, thats what i cant dislike. because people think. i think. even im an O blooded, easy judging --but yet, easy pardoning :D maybe thats why im able to tolerate that judging thing. there is a hope :D
hhh... its just that people should (at least try to) see other as personal (as possible). you cant judge a book by its cover, but yes it useful as a reference, so just please dont stop there.
i think ive ever stood with those two side both, the precious (which sometimes i realized that its not that precious) and the ugly (which sometimes there you also could see the particular beauties). now suddenly i feel grateful for them both in me.
my another flaws then lead me here. im not used to stand 'with' them, as in part of them. what i do, or what i feel i do, is just stand by my self and for my self, 'with' them, as in available for them or needing them. i am detached, or at least im fairly feel detached. there are times i got into them, but it has nothing to do with them knowing, and not ever confirming. i did it myself.
architecture, is precious. its really an honoured to be part it. even not yet mentioning how cool it sounds and which (cool) categorization it aims to (admit it or not people know this tendency). im being inside it, and whipped into it, tasted great actually. but seeing people admiring it, and lost themself into it, didnt feel good. i see people forgot their (originally human) own sight, started to see the world and even themself behind the tag, architecture (and there they're live in it).
i know it could be, and supposed to be, a wise move to do that, and it could be just my selfish thought to see that way. but i think people not supposed to tagged themself that way. you are not your company. its true, you are what you doing. but at least to me, doing architecture is the same with doing kindness. and you cant tag kindness, they come from different source you cant see. and people should (at least try to) see.
when they tagged themself that way, to me, they seems like already stopped in place. think thats why sometimes i even prefer one selfish architect doing their best-selfish-shots as a person (no matter how bad their works really are, but fyi, many of them are good too, effortlessly good!) than one philosophical architect forgetting their roots (no! its not about their local wisdom, not your traditional appreciation, not about your being as a responsible earth citizen or else, but about what you want and what you do behind) im tiring myself arent i :D yep, im slaved by the stupid children in me.
it might bothers me more than i thought before. that i slowly detached myself even more from the tag, architecture :D thats what im saying desperately about tiring myself. im doing cute pop stuff, fun decor, silly playful touch of attitude, stupid artsy thought, or else, which i (thankfully remember to) like.
afterall, im glad finding myself actually (still) like it, architecture, so that it didnt actually need me for being there. there i do what i have to do, while here outside i could do what i really have to do :D as i hope i will always have my self that way. as i hope people also will.
and the point of my written here, is actually just about one person i least expected from them. yu sing, a pretty young architect. honestly, hes not like mastering it or something. not even popular by the way they architect like it. but he reminds me (again) the preciousness of it. about touching people, lending thoughts and hands for a better living, and no need to explain how precious architecture itself is. he seems silly, just the way i like it. he talks about unpopular issue which is now popular, he talks about dream effortlessly (silly) as if dream is not popular. i dont know, i think hes stupidity pretty mesmerizing for many of them, that actually they just cant say no to him, because they still are bedazzled :D he seems to be honest. with himself, that makes him feel free to do this kind of stupidity (includes touching me). and with others, that makes him unstoppable. why bothers? :D
and one thing. hes doing that outloud. here i am again with my flaws of being too detached or too introverted phataticly. remembering what i like about what i do is about inspiring and bringing goodness that lead to happiness. so it actually should be outloud.
and what im doing now, is just whispers. and my whispers, are just for someone who think. and my think, is overthought :D
there i am started things all over again.
amen.
