a selfish blog diary

its a diary, so its permitted to be selfish, the way i like it here.

here im about to steal trivias, things i always love, from a friend's blog.
i call it steal becuse until now, still i cant certainly decide if this public is open for public or not.
i actually cant wait to 'show off' my things, which are disorderly all me. but part of me just cant let it happen easily. even maybe that also the reason why i use english for this blog. yea its no regulation, may someday i will go back to bahasa... ^^
is it shyness, unconfidence, or a simply cowardy things i couldnt even care about.
well, as time goes by, thats what usually happen. hihi, i seems like prefer to be found , as always.

as if people would like to like what they found ^^ oh whatever.
then here are the trivias.

1. about my appetite

although now i avoid it as hard as i can, i think junkfood will always be on my top list of my fav. name it, fries, burger, fried stuff, salty crispy things in my mouth, i seems never get bored of them no matter how often i eat it or how undone they're cooked.
since then i know it that i have a bad taste for food. i cant differentiate any of them as long as they dont look like puke. my flaws. maybe thats why i dont really like seafood, especially when theyre not fried or covered with flours. theyre slimy, unshaped, and clams, they are black!
but anyway, i eat everythings. trully everythings. that some particular times i could eat them the uglies too. so actually all kind of food may have hopes on me :D
and for my own goodness, especially when i left alone with anything to eat, i thanked my self for always love breakfast food. i always love simple menu. good for my bad taste. good for my bad luck in the kitchen. good for my health.

2. about my phobias

i would say i dont have one
but maybe what i afraid for the most is losing, losing peoples i love
and of course before it, is of course loving itself :D what i mean is loving loving, which happened among more than one people only, which involved counting and depending on someone else not me.
maybe because i actually usually feel i could depend on myself for everything about myself (well i dont name it confidence, i believe its faith) and on the other hand, i feel i could never really know, or even allowed, to count or depend on other people.
yah anyway, i know it too, silly, and cliche. but it is what it is. i've dealt with it :D (i believe its faith, too)

3. about places

i am now crazy with singapore. as i found out maybe thats because i also crazy with jakarta here where im in. dont have to mention jakarta as a big city though. as i often say, im a small city town girl ^^ i love small savvy cute friendly and a bit vintage environment, lots to play and find out. im not really into greenies or natural environment though.

4. about my hands

is desperately be my favourite part of my body. i also kinda surprised that it havent even changed :D they are, small, fatty, and unbalanced. they just couldn't go simply straight. anyway i think theyre kinda cute. yea, totally subjective...

5. about my collections

haha! these kind of quizzes and trivia things, perhaps are actually my trully everlasting collections! if only i could collect my peoples filling these too, i would be very very glad. i like to get to know people as i like to get to know myself, there are always something new.... humm... yea, but its too stupid for them anyway.

6. about my idols

i dont really have one. i love people so many and so much, but as i say im not really into other people that much. humm... but i tend to like smart and ingenious and inspiring people :D i like george clooney for his attitude, i like zooey deschanel for her image and appearance, i like jk rowling for her complicated and heartful stories, and i cant forget usagi aka sailor moon for her power of love :D thats all for now

7. about my guilty pleasures

junkfood, easy movie, spoiled my self with whole a lot of me time,
and judge a product by its advertisements and packaging :D

8. about my personal issues

im in love and im happy. im married and im happy. love is good. this is beautiful.i hope i remember that for the rest of my life.
no matter how cliche and idiotic it could sounds sometimes.
lets say, its faith.

*hap hap ^_^

me vs the world

1. poverty-hunger-ignorance
2. stupidity-slavery-harassment
3. violence-bullies-mental illness
4. crime-war-politics
and
5. love-education-self consciousness

i found myself as a person who hate those upper 4 lists for the most, its my priorities.
which could be resolved with the 5th lists. pathetically, sadly, cliche. dunno why, but still feel them as a basic resolution, the key to the world.
they are such a bottom-up sicknesses i totally cant stand up. things i cant help to just ignore, but stay in my wildest deepest wishes. wild, because it must be took hell a lot of energy, time, regulation, power, and money... deep, because its cliche. i kinda dont trust cliche. i kinda dont trust myself. so i ll just keep it till i dont know when. it will still remain as my wish though.

love & peace,
amen.

being just a half

belum pingin pulang...

i feels like wanting sleeping in the office. with internet and my repeated playlist. music, it gets me wholly for many times. thanked god it doesnt happen frequently lately. but just in some particular times, like now... (sigh, laid my head on my desk)
nothings really happen actually. im just behalf on my pre-period moment. probably. i feel good. kinda empty. but good. my batteries run dry. but good... (sigh, laid my back on my chair)
i feel like able sleeping in the office.
i feel like able to awake all night tonight.
i feel like able to hold on like this just for ever.
i feel like feeling good, half conscious, but just good.
hmmm... there are times like this to write huh... i might forgot...

hmmm... however im glad i have husband to remember to awake, right about now.
half awake, but just good. hmmm... i simply just have to go home ya.
^^

story of a good boring girl

when i was younger i wanna grow fast,
that i can do everything i want
when im already grown i wanna be smart,
that i can do good things good
when im already smart i wanna be pretty,
that i can be heard better
when im already pretty i wanna be true,
knowing things are real
i know things are real when i make family,
that i dont want anything more
but loves that come together with god's hands,
in the days of our lives
and amen.

tagged: architecture

ternyata (memang) masih suka arsitektur...

im not a person who like to be categorized or tagged or identified, especially by what i wear, what i watch, what i read, what i listen, what i like, where i study, where i work, or any company or brand im standing with. no matter how precious they are. thats the highlight, not about how ugly they are (not yet mentioning it sometimes even more enjoyable to me, standing with 'the uglies', seeing people judging and not knowing, blinding themself :D). but judging, thats what i cant dislike. because people think. i think. even im an O blooded, easy judging --but yet, easy pardoning :D maybe thats why im able to tolerate that judging thing. there is a hope :D
hhh... its just that people should (at least try to) see other as personal (as possible). you cant judge a book by its cover, but yes it useful as a reference, so just please dont stop there.

i think ive ever stood with those two side both, the precious (which sometimes i realized that its not that precious) and the ugly (which sometimes there you also could see the particular beauties). now suddenly i feel grateful for them both in me.
my another flaws then lead me here. im not used to stand 'with' them, as in part of them. what i do, or what i feel i do, is just stand by my self and for my self, 'with' them, as in available for them or needing them. i am detached, or at least im fairly feel detached. there are times i got into them, but it has nothing to do with them knowing, and not ever confirming. i did it myself.

architecture, is precious. its really an honoured to be part it. even not yet mentioning how cool it sounds and which (cool) categorization it aims to (admit it or not people know this tendency). im being inside it, and whipped into it, tasted great actually. but seeing people admiring it, and lost themself into it, didnt feel good. i see people forgot their (originally human) own sight, started to see the world and even themself behind the tag, architecture (and there they're live in it).
i know it could be, and supposed to be, a wise move to do that, and it could be just my selfish thought to see that way. but i think people not supposed to tagged themself that way. you are not your company. its true, you are what you doing. but at least to me, doing architecture is the same with doing kindness. and you cant tag kindness, they come from different source you cant see. and people should (at least try to) see.
when they tagged themself that way, to me, they seems like already stopped in place. think thats why sometimes i even prefer one selfish architect doing their best-selfish-shots as a person (no matter how bad their works really are, but fyi, many of them are good too, effortlessly good!) than one philosophical architect forgetting their roots (no! its not about their local wisdom, not your traditional appreciation, not about your being as a responsible earth citizen or else, but about what you want and what you do behind) im tiring myself arent i :D yep, im slaved by the stupid children in me.

it might bothers me more than i thought before. that i slowly detached myself even more from the tag, architecture :D thats what im saying desperately about tiring myself. im doing cute pop stuff, fun decor, silly playful touch of attitude, stupid artsy thought, or else, which i (thankfully remember to) like.
afterall, im glad finding myself actually (still) like it, architecture, so that it didnt actually need me for being there. there i do what i have to do, while here outside i could do what i really have to do :D as i hope i will always have my self that way. as i hope people also will.

and the point of my written here, is actually just about one person i least expected from them. yu sing, a pretty young architect. honestly, hes not like mastering it or something. not even popular by the way they architect like it. but he reminds me (again) the preciousness of it. about touching people, lending thoughts and hands for a better living, and no need to explain how precious architecture itself is. he seems silly, just the way i like it. he talks about unpopular issue which is now popular, he talks about dream effortlessly (silly) as if dream is not popular. i dont know, i think hes stupidity pretty mesmerizing for many of them, that actually they just cant say no to him, because they still are bedazzled :D he seems to be honest. with himself, that makes him feel free to do this kind of stupidity (includes touching me). and with others, that makes him unstoppable. why bothers? :D

and one thing. hes doing that outloud. here i am again with my flaws of being too detached or too introverted phataticly. remembering what i like about what i do is about inspiring and bringing goodness that lead to happiness. so it actually should be outloud.
and what im doing now, is just whispers. and my whispers, are just for someone who think. and my think, is overthought :D
there i am started things all over again.
amen.

my catch from touring blogs

1 zooey deschanel, actually whats above is about her, not the room, kinda admire her lately. whimsical. and the room*hers* frankly pretty catchy also. took them from here and here.

2 different bedroom, but apparently i ike them both, took it from this cute blog

3 several room sequences from this NY interior designer blog inspires me good

4 she collect several lovely baby rooms too

5 this pretty inspiring...

6 vibrant colours and pattern, so very uplifting, most of her works really are

7 my kind of style, simple yet playful, orderly random ^^ took them from this nice blog


8 too bad, i cant find one funny and whimsical picture of 2 little girls that really make my day today, the older girl strap the younger onto the wall with tape...

long lazy pc time

long weekend lazy weekend... i might take this blog thing too serious. that i really stucked here in front of my pc. take a walk at peoples blog. though this week i actually really have thingS to do... here are the list.

1.find a singapore-cheap-hotel









i just had 2 free ticket to singapore! sure it was unplanned, and such a spontaneous move. however it costs nothing, just several usual taxes... and going there has been me and my husband *call him msiko from now* dream since forever. and we had the perfect timing to go. its going to be in next august, right at our wedding 1st anniversary, which coincidentally is right at the independence day of singapore. Great, peak season, around the great sale period, higher living cost :D~~ ok whatever, we just have to try to be efficient ......haha.
well this one is my main target. its pretty on budget, located in bugis area, near MRT *they say*, and its a new hotel, so i hope it going to be just good. yah it looks good to me...

2.activate my e-banking
while taking time to decide... its also took my attention about the payment here and there. and since the trip was unplanned, so theres going to be several new post for my financial plan :p not yet count the economy crisis, and voting issues here. should i buy SGD now or later. should i pay in advance or just make the down payment, should i make a credit card... but one thing, think i should activate my e-banking account soon. well hope it could work good enough, so that i dont have to make such credit card :d it didnt looks good to me. the more i learn it, the more it frights me. not good. *well i already tried to like it though*

3.write article for may edition
yaya... this one already on my lap... before list no.4 rush me worse

4.figure out the architecture gathering, by detail!
it contains the list of question, the guests, the moderator, the venue, the menu, the presentation, the scenarios, and the final product... the theme is about sustainable design, local wisdom, energy saving, smart solution, budget-based, urban housing nowaday... something like that. good things really.
*sigh* yes this time i sighed, because somehow this time i feel this was thrown at me. somehow i feel it is. so it has to be good! this time it will. amen.

5.hoodies for mom
it looks simple eh... find stuf like this like everywhere. but frankly when we really need it everythings turn to rough. one is too manly, one is too childish, one is too sporty, on is too sweaty, one is too expensive, and so on... and its for my mother. and she'll pay me in return, she's just doesnt have the time. so it gets me more to detail...

6.underwears for sister
This one actually also seems wacky to me. she is almost 16. she's nesa from now. she actually should like to buy such things by herself. but not. she said shes too tired. shes doing a lot of basketball match lately *yea we kinda a total different at that part, im so not into sports*. and one thing, my taste of style, and underwears, actually also kinda different with her. so this time think i should pick something basic, strong, sporty... well maybe a little cute detail is ok. but definately no lace.

7.personal laundry
mom is in bali. and im in moms house *i usually be here at weekend*. and our maid is actually aboy. he didnt do our underwears laundry. so i should did. cant wait for mom. cant really count nesa.

first weekend

well i started this blog from an inspiration of my polyvore sets. this one tells thing by scramble and effortless *and this set is also effortless* its filled with my usual stuf. slouchy, relax, loving, a lot of play... nothing so special, but still seems nice to me. im such a lazy weekenders.

it seems like this set explain this blog thingy. it seems pretty useful inspite of my short time to write, and collect things. my things. well here im just trying to keep up moods. moods im always wondering. they're my good ones. perhaps this going to be like a diary, or just scrapbook, ...whatever im just trying to grounding this space for now. *hello!*

and well yah i start this in the weekend on my birthday week. my first birthday as a wife he said ^^ so think its a good moment for doing a trial. humm, i dont know what else. all i know, my heads already keep up things too long to be remembered as well. so may this be good then.