something in my throat

:and push me uptight

the time is close
and still i couldnt imagine

its not the pain haunting
but the eyes surrounding

while i will own my time by the time is coming
eventually not for the rest after delivering

:sigh

consciousness knocking
only to you i could count

and to him i could fall
turn my head and my heart off

:hug

and to you my dear who i will always see
and i will always watch no matter what

is the magic spell that i always whisper
words i wish you to recognize sometimes sooner

:smile

god is good
life is good
love is good
you are good

:chuckle

its just that i love you
both

home to be

bismillah untuk rumah bahagianya ya tuhan ya... ^_^

masih ttg box bayi >_<

adeeeek... kalo kamu pilih yg mana sebenernyaaaa...
tadi mlm mengira2 mekanismenya kalo kamu tidur di matras doang, di lantai, tapi kok kynya ga tega... ehk... smp mimpi...

terus tadi liat web box bayi kayu...

di baby belle
bagus... tapi mahal... tapi bagus buat adeknya... tapi mahal >_<
apalagi yang tipe angela atau winston... mamanya sangat suka... sptnya kalo adeknya udh gedean pun masih bisa buat duduk2 main dan nyimpen barang...
yg paling masuk akal *sekaligus paling murah* adlh yg tipe chelsea atau christopher... itupun udah 1,85jt... tapi desain dan standard baby belle emg udh bagus si... bahannya aja mahogani...

di topbgt
standard lah... box bahan kayu ramin... harga jauh di bawah baby belle... sdh ckp mungkin ya buat adeknya... secara papamamanya jg pake matras aja :p
yg lumayan yg seri HK066 without box atau seri HK1008...

hfuuuh adek... kamu mau yg mana...
yg kayu atau yg portable...
mamanya nggak sabar nungguin papanya pulang ngeliat box 2nd yg masih harus direnov itu... >_<

dilema box adek

uh... pilih yg mana baiknya...

box kayu ayu
karena bahannya kayu harapannya bisa direnov, mgkn tampilan dan kekuatannya bs ter-upgrade... meski usianya sdh hampir 20 tahun...
tapi kalo box kayu sbnrnya agak ragu jg krn kalo udh ga kepake susah nyimpennya... kok sptnya tdk efisien... ya biar ntar diliat mviko dulu deh bs diefektifkan sejauh apa...

kecuali kalo desainnya begini :D
tapi yg ini harganya 3,6jt... hihihi... nggak lah...

mothercare travelcot - cloud
suka modelnya, simpel, harga kaskus 650rb, sptnya affordable, mothercare pun, insy kualitas ok, spt reviewnya
tapi ini ga ada bassinet buat newbornnya... padahal maunya sekali beli dapet semua...

graco pack n' play playard
modelnya lumayan, ga terlalu bermotif, warna ckp netral, tapi emg masih agak printilan sih, kecuali yg tipe Kensley ini. sejauh ini sebenernya ini yg paling best deal... 780rb harga online, fungsi komplit, ada bassinet-cot-dan compact, portable...
tapi mviko kynya ga terlalu suka... berharap dikadoin anak2 aja apa ya :D ada sih di wishlist yg sdh dipublish...

mothercare bassinette and travelcot
dan ini adalah yg paling menggiurkan. mviko jg sptnya akan suka... mothercare cot yg ada bassinetnya. polos dan simpel...
tapi secara barangnya rada2 ga massal sptnya, harganya sama pedagang kaskus aja 1,7 jt *nanyanya pun by request*, blm ditawar si, tapi blm apa2 udah hampir 3x lipat sama yg travelcot tanpa bassinette seperti di atas... padahal bassinette dipakenya paling lama setahun aja, habis itu ga dipake lagi...

kasur matras kecil :D
yg paling masuk akal untuk dibeli sekarang adalah yg ini.... harganya sptnya 200rb-an saja... fungsional, aman, dan portable juga tho... habis dipikir2 emg perlu wadah tidur khusus buat adek, biarpun adeknya cepet gede juga... kan biar adek bisa belajar bobo sendiri, dan ga kesempitan di kasur mamapapanya yg cuma lebar 120 :D
hihihi, ya mgkn sbg usaha, kalo bisa ukurannya disesuaiin sama box ayu... meski kemaren sambil rada ngantuk dan gelap2an pas ngukurnya, kayanya si ukuran boxnya 60cm-an x 120cm-an...

real hug and thank you

i like doing chores for my baby, its not like im doing push-ups
i cant stand being noticed all the time, dont bother to keep walking while im around

i like doing clean-ups, im not in a rush though
i cant stand being served too much yet i couldnt refuse, you can ask before do me a favor

i realize and count every move im doing, i do realize too i have a newborn to be inside me
i cant stand being judged about my capability, you can ask instead of judge

im a laid-back person and you know it, so dont worry im forcing myself too far
i cant stand being told about what i feel, dont ask if you cant hear

i know this is big, and even bigger
i cant stand being warned all the time, i have limits and i can stop myself

i also count my times, and i know when is to stop
i cant stand being dictated, just dont pretend to ask

i definately hear you and everyone, those things i know are for the best
i cant stand being ordered, you are all sometimes somehow a way too far

please shower me those loves, infos, knowledges, advices, those things i desperately need
then you can hug and please, let me do the rest

ps:
ive actually passed this term at my worst, but still this feeling slightly comes sometimes
umm yea i know you love us that much , thats what i count on ^^

name list

camilo, camille - latin - free born child, noble

lucia - latin, italia - light

shilo - hebrew - gift

shaka - african - leader

shia - hebrew - praise god

alegra - latin - cheerful

callia, calla - greek - beautiful

kaia - greek - earth

chaka - african - warrior

toya - indian - water

akina - japanese - springflower

grey - english - grey

chiara - italian - light

sachi - japanese - child of joy

senna - arabian - bright light

week 34

still rounding in my head...

adalah kontrakan di sekitar tanah calon rumah ^^
dan tempat tidur adek... blum sempet2 liat lungsuran ayu...

permata adora bintaro 15jt/thn

baby box kayu 800rb-1,1jt

travelcot mothercare (tanpa bassinet) 650rb cek
atau
travelcot bassinet graco 780rb cek

6in1 baby carrier infantino (masih utk nanti sih ^^) 400rb cek
atau
3-position baby carrier mothercare 499rb cek

sterilize dish dryer panasonic (ngrembet ^^) 570rb
*sterilizer yg crown buat kado wina/resell? hihihi...

review list adek ^o^

BIG LIST

barang 'gede' (mahal) yg ga rencana beli adalah diaper bag... nungguin hadiah rs atau dr org aja ah :D ma hal, kalo yg murah ga sreg, hihihi... mending beli tas biasa terus dipake buat bayi, lebih murah, bagus dan efisien (bisa dipake mamahnya juga), pun sptnya bentuknya jg begitu2 aja =)

Stroller Esprit SpeedSun Plus / Esprit Flash / Peg-Perego Si

kmrn lusa akhirnya ambil yg Peg Perego Si di hari pertama mviko mviko dtg jkt, like it like it like it, udah liat bbrp reviewnya jg, insy adalah pilihan terbaik dan terefektif, looks like its gonna be longlasting ^^ cuma ternyata rekomendasinya untuk usia 2 bulan ke atas, hihi... gapapa lah yah, 2 bulan pertama juga mungkin justru masih pingin deket2 dan peluk2 aja kan...

Carrier MotherCare 3-position

jadinya ini dibeli nanti2 aja, baru dipake setelah usia 4 bulan katanya...

Tarafa baby sling

gendongan yg sejauh ini terlihat paling kuat dan bagus, rapih deh buat dibawa2 pergi. mau beli nanti pas checkup berikutnya di rs aja sama mviko, biar ada ikut belanja dikit2, hihi... tapi udah pingin yg warna merah sih ^^

Travelcot mothercare/ Box (6months rent)

yg ini kayanya ga usah aja deh... krn belum kebayang kebutuhan ruangnya juga, murni fungsional utk kebiasaan tidur mandiri aja. katanya sih ada lungsuran box sama bassinet ayu (sepupu ug sekarang udh lulus sma =) mudah2an kondisinya msh ok.

Medela breast pump & 3 milk bottles

medela breastpump harmony check! harganya selisih 100rb sama harga online, yaaaay! cuma beli botolnya akhirnya bukan medela. akhirnya yg botol avent karena emg bagus, bisa buat storage milk, dan dpt dot (yah, buat dikenalin nanti-nanti deh kalo emang perlu kepepet atau udah agak gedean) sama botol sendok puku petit, karena pake sendok (katanya lebih recomended drpd pake dot, dan sendoknya silikon jd lebih lembut dan lunak buat bayi)

washer Samsung WA80V3 ^o^

yg ini masih on the way, nanti dibeli insyaallah kalo udah dpt 'r u m a h' yg baru yah ^^ amiiin

Sterilizer Pigeon / Crown (tentatif aja)

akhirnya ambil yg crown, karena emg yg paling murah, paling multifungsi, dan desainnya juga simpel :p secara merk emg bismillah aja sih... btw kalo yg pigeon ternyata ga efektif dan efisien kok, yg bagus yg panasonic katanya... atau aventnya phillips... tapi emang ma hal... mgkn akan lebih ngefek utk nanti kalo udah punya rumah sendiri, atau peralatan makan adeknya udah banyaaak... tapi ya mudah2an si crown in udah cukup lah...

SMALL LIST

small list ini ternyata lebih panjaaaang, hihihi, karena belanjanya sama mamah dan tknya sendiri berasa nanggung ini itu untuk ga beli :p tapi alhamdulillah overall ttp on budget kok...
kelebihannya adalah barang2 yg sptnya sih sifatnya pelengkap aja...sisir, gunting kuku, sikat botol (!?@*@#!), handuk, celemek, sedotan ingus, peniti bayi, tempat bedak... ^O^ hal2 yg terasa tanggung deh kalo ga dibeli...jadi yawislah, buat adeknya... hihihi

singlet
atasan lgn pendek
atasan lgn panjang
cln pop
cln pjg
popok kain

hampir semua ambil yg fluffy. katanya sih lebih bagus (dan emg lebih mahal) merk nova, tapi tk pegang bahannya dan desainnya lebih suka fluffy... adalah barang yg dibeli dgn jumlah paling banyak, utk keperluan sehari2. dan ditambah gosip bayi lahir di musim hujan yg pipis lebih sering dan cucian relatif lebih susah kering, serta hasil usg yg insy adeknya laki2 dan kalo pipis kemana2 ya :p begitulah, yg paling dilematis adalah membeli atasan... perlukah beli sebanyak celana/popoknya? hihi... lets see semuncrat2 apakah pipisnya bayi laki2...

gurita

jadinya beli juga, karena belanjanya sama mamah. yawislah ikut aja, tapi ntar kalopun dipake paling lama sampe pusernya puput aja. hitung2 membantu menghangatkan lah, sama sekali bukan untuk mem be bat perut pokoknya.

jaket

insy udah cukuplah sama yg dibeli pas bazaar mothercare aja. 1 buat newborn, yg 1 sptnya bisa lebih bertahan smp 3 bulanan, selebihnya kan ntar adeknya dipelukin dan diselimutin pasti yah dek yah...

terusan

ini juga sdh dicukupkan dari bazaar aja deh. bodysuit emg kelihatannya cpt kekecilan, meski ttp must-have, karena lucu dan sangat ba yi ^^

kaos kaki

dari bazaar udah ada 5 pasang, ditambah 2 lagi yg berbentuk sarung kaki dari itc (setelan sama sarung tangan), untuk sementara cukup deh sepertinya... pipis agak jauh kan ya kalo sama kaki? ^o^ lagian kan adeknya juga ga langsung bisa main becek2an tho... hihihi

kaos tangan

ya begitulah, untuk punya2an aja, paling cuma dipake dalam hitungan hari aja. krn katanya ga trll recommended, biar bayinya jg bisa belajar sensorik lebih baik...

sepatu

ga beli. karena kayanya emg blm perlu. dan pemikiran bahwa sepatu itu kayanya ga nyaman utk newborn, spt halnya dgn alasan semua baju yg dibeli berbahan kaos yg enteng, sptnya mmg benar... gosipnya makein sepatu terlalu dini bisa menghambat pertumbuhan (rangsang gerak atau apalah itu) si kaki...

topi

idem sarung tangan... buat punya-punya aja...

pampers

its actually called diapers, tapi sptnya lebih umum nyebutnya pampers, seperti menyebut aqua untuk air mineral :p jadi, pampers pertama adek merknya goon, cuma ada di toko bayi, ga ada di supermarket. katanya si bagus, ada indikatornya kalo pipisnya udah penuh... ya nanti kalo mamanya udh lebih fasih mungkin baru nyari2 merk lain yg lebih praktis dan gampang dicari ya...

perlak

belinya 1 perlak buat tempat tidur, 1 perlak buat habis mandi, sama 1 perlak kecil buat pergi2 :p yg ke3 ini karena mamahnya gemes aja liat motif dan packagingnya lucu...hihihi. kalo 2 lainnya sih yg standar biru-pink polos itu *tapi hampir semua yg dibeli emg yg standar kok, dalam artian polos dan basic :p selain karena memang terlihat lebih nyaman dan efisien, urusannya sama selera juga sebenernya sepertinya sih... hihihi*

alas ompol renata

jadinya beli 2 lusin. hmmm, belum dateng nih barangnya... insy berguna lah tapi... karena beli bedong relatif sedikit *alas ompol dan bedong secara fungsi kayanya nanti pada prakteknya mirip deh*

bedong

kenapa beli bedongnya dikit? karena ternyata bedong adalah barang bayi grosiran yg paling mahal, satuannya sampai 20rb, padahal baju2 aja cuma 7rb-an, padahal bedong cuma kain kotak terus diobras doang. kenapa mahal? hihihi... mungkin ini jg karena mamanya mau yg polos dan kainnya katun *enak* aja sih... bedong yg lain bergambar-gambar dan berbulu itu sih... nggak suka ah... tapi bedong ini termasuk item favorit mamahnya deh, bisa dibikin taplak, sarung bantal, alas ini, alas itu, beauty case, dst, hihihi... i love raw polos fabrics...

selimut tidur
selimut pergi

ini item favorit kedua! semua selimut bayi itu memang sangat2 tempting! halusnya, warnanya, empuknya... nyam!!!

toiletries

beli johnson baby starter pack aja, jatohnya emg lebih murah jauh... dan merknya sekali lagi, standar =) my likes

ember mandi

oh sungguh sangat menyukai hasil perburuan di bazaar yg satu ini, merasanya sangat2 worth it dan baguuuus...

nursery apron

jadinya beli yg big hug by renata, masih menunggu kedatangan barang

EXTRAS
bouncer

hyaaaah, pingiiiin, tapi ga pingin beliii, karena kayanya cuma sebentar banget dan bukan jenis barang yg compact... tapi kayanya ngefek juga kalo punya... mudah2an ada yg kadoin ah... ^^

mainan

hmmm... bukan terlalu penggemar mainan. tapi beli juga pas bazaar. item paling mahal yg dibeli. tp gapapa lah, utk sekalinya beli yah, langsung yg by elc. pemakaiannya juga sepertinya ber gu na. utk lucu2an, utk belajar, utk pajangan juga ^^ ntar selebihnya pake item reusable dari benda pakai sehari2 yg disterilkan aja ^^ satu tips dari mamah yg tk sepakat deeeh.

bed set + kelambu

beli bedset ntaran, liat lungsuran box/bassinetnya dulu. tapi udah beli kelambunya, yg kaya tudung saji.

*smart nappy MotherCare
*Nappy pad BeNiceKids pants

ini ga beli. nanti aja sptnya kalo udah agak gedean yah adeknya... mungkin kalo emg ngefek pake yg mothercare aja gpp. yg benicekids gosipnya ga ngefek... basah juga...

ISI TAS PERSALINAN
Belanjanya *relatif* sudah semua. mudah2an cukup dan benar. tapi tas persalinannya masih on the way... belum cuci ini itu. nanti ta update lagi... yea its theoritical a bit late, but still commonly common lah ^^ skrg yg penting bismillah aja untuk adeknya, untuk kelancaran prosesnya semua2. yah...
i like this term of busy-ness though... ^^

sibuk sibuk

gyayayaahhh adeeeek...
skrg mamanya lg suka ketawa sendiri kalo lagi diem aja tiba2 kamunya gerak-gerak =D tapi kadang pake sebel juga dikit kalo mau tidur kamunya tetep gerak-gerak di segala posisi, jd setengah-setengah deh tidurnya... tinggal kalo udah tidur enak mamanya cm bisa berdoa kamunya jg enak karena mamanya udah setengah sadar =D ta pe luk a ja ya... hihihi...
dan di antara serangan mental dari kamuuuu, sptnya yg bikin sembuh jg adalah dgn mikirin dan me ren ca na kan ka muuu =D makanya skrg mamanya jd suka menyibukkan diri nyari dan menggambar rumah dan bikin daftar belanjaaaan, biarin tinggal papanya aja yg repot =D repot sitik aja kok tapi, daripada rewel kan, hihihi....
jadi kalo mamanya lagi capek sitik juga, kamunya baik-baik ya... ^__^ hap hap... dikiiit lagi..... mudah-mudahan semuanya baik-baik dan lancar dan memang se me nye nang kan i ni ya adek... amiiin...
peluk mama papanya

list adek

BIG LIST
Stroller Esprit SpeedSun Plus 1.050.000 / Esprit Flash 1.600.000 / Peg-Perego Si 2.100.000
Carrier MotherCare 3-position 499.000
Tarafa baby sling 150.000
Travelcot mothercare 650.000 / Box (6months rent) 500.000
Medela breast pump 475.000 & 3 milk bottles 115.000
washer Samsung WA80V3 2.100.000 ^o^
nursery apron 89.000
Sterilizer Pigeon 375.000 / Crown 275.000 (tentatif aja)

SMALL LIST
singlet
lgn pendek
lgn panjang
jaket
cln pop
cln pjg
terusan
kaos kaki
kaos tangan
sepatu
topi
popok
pampers
perlak
alas ompol renata
bedong
selimut tidur
selimut pergi
toiletries
ember mandi

EXTRAS
bouncer
mainan
bed set + kelambu
*smart nappy MotherCare outer & inner
*Nappy pad BeNiceKids pants pants & pads

TAS PERSALINAN
perlak (utk di mobil)
baju ganti ibu 4 stel (kancing depan)
baju ganti ayah 2 stel
pakaian dalam 4 stel
toiletries
minyak pijat
bacaan
camilan dan minuman
handuk
sandal
breast pad 4 pasang
pembalut 2 bungkus
sarung 2 buah
stagen 2 buah
alat shalat
--------------------
baju ganti bayi
kaos kaki 2 pasang
sarung tangan 2 pasang
bedong
pampers
popok 6 buah
alas ompol 6 buah
stelan baju pulang
selimut pergi/bertopi
gendongan
--------------------
fotokopi KK
fotokopi surat nikah
fotokopi KTP ayah ibu

referensi
mommygadget
forum weddingku
blog aldilia

gloomy pregnant darling

it still begins with a smile ^^

the 1st 2 month are full of browsing and googling files. having a new sense of something growing inside of me. thanks god there re not much puke and dizziness but light and fuzzy feeling over me. things are the same but the days are so brand new. there is something im carrying. they say im carrying love. and i like it how its mentioned.

the 3rd month month im puking those files. haha. it fills me too full. thanks god i could remember pretty much. because worries and heavy body cant get enough of me. im such a laid back. cant eat good. cant go out smooth. i dont like pimples. and peoples seems dont like my mood.

i did adaptate at the 4th month. i let go the pimples and fill my mood with holiday zest. i picked my track. i chose you with no doubt. though still yes its been a hard fight among me, milk, and fastfood flick. anyway, they say youre already there by the moment. im saying hellos during the days. and i feel it was you rolling inside, right on my way back home from the 4th checkups. on your 16th week.

i see that hellos could never be enough. even i suddenly forgot my prays. its like that many words and hopes and wishes and bless came out of me couldnt ever fill and fit you well. again im becoming stupid. everyhtings becoming blurry to me. i feel like all i can do is to hug. and yet i couldnt do that. i recognize you on your 5th month. and all i can do is just random bubbles of hellos and prays. i desperately hope you can recognize that as love. i love you and so whatever.

yea, i cant say that many of thingy but i love you.
and fu, you re also there in the sentence. i love you too.
^^ my everything.

piece of works

saat beraktivitas
kebiasaan makan
anjuran makan 1 2 3
menu makan 1 2 3
tentang susu
pertanyaan yang sering
sharing blog
forum aktif
majalah nakita
majalah ayahbunda
babycenter.com
berdoa

obstetricians in my list

dr. Oni Khonsa
RSIA Tambak
Jl. Tambak No 18, Manggarai Jakarta Pusat - 10320
t. 2303444 / f. 3902550
senin & rabu 18.00-20.00
jumat 16.00-18.00

dr. Rudiyanti
RS Internasional Bintaro
t. 7455500/600/700
senin-sabtu pagi-siang
selasa-jumat magrib-malam

dr. Hasnah Siregar
Senin, Rabu-Sabtu
dr. Suharjanti Kramadibrata
Senin-Kamis, Sabtu
RSIA Hermina Jatinegara
Jl. Jatinegara Barat 126, Jakarta Timur
t. 819123/85138383 (hunting)

dr. Bramundito
RS Pondok Indah
Jl. Metro Duta Kav. UE, Jakarta Selatan
t. 7657525. ext. 1300 / f. 7502324
senin-jumat pagi-sore
sabtu pagi-siang

is that you?

this is the start of something good....
this morning of knowing, this verse suddenly come out and now keep humming in my mind. never thought before,that this old nice ordinary and forgotten song going tobe this big to me. there were only rain and clouds and breeze and my warm body, red lips and still a sleepy eyes. i am now awake.
magic. weird, but magic... i dont know what i feel, but i fell a tear. maybe i love you already. hug. fu...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Follow Through - Gavin deGraw

Oh, this is the start of something good
Don't you agree?
I haven't felt like this in so many moons
You know what I mean?
And we can build through this destruction
As we are standing on our feet
So, since you want to be with me
You'll have to follow through
With every word you say
And I, all I really want is you
You to stick around
I'll see you everyday
But you have to follow through
You have to follow through
These reeling emotions they just keep me alive
They keep me in tune
Oh, look what I'm holding here in my fire
This is for you
Am I too obvious to preach it?
You're so hypnotic on my heart
So, since you want to be with me
You'll have to follow through
With every word you say
And I, all I really want is you
You to stick around
I'll see you everyday
But you have to follow through
You have to follow through
The words you say to me are unlike anything
That's ever been said
And what you do to me is unlike anything
That's ever been
Am I too obvious to preach it?
You're so hypnotic on my heart
So, since you want to be with me
You'll have to follow through
With every word you say
And I, all I really want is you
(For) you to stick around
I'll see you everyday
But you'll have to follow through
With every word you say
An I, all I really want is you (For) you to stick around
I'll see everyday
But you have to follow through
You have to follow through
You're gonna have to follow
Oh, this is the start of something good
Don't you agree?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

rl4385: fifuuu...
viko trah dewangga has signed back in. (5/8/2009 9:48 AM)
rl4385: cup...
rl4385: r u there fu...
viko trah dewangga: cup sayaaang,..
rl4385: fu,
rl4385: i may be pregnant
viko trah dewangga: waaaa,... kok bisa sayang,...
viko trah dewangga: amin amin amin,.....
rl4385: bbrp hari ini badannya nggreges
rl4385: meriang aneh
viko trah dewangga: darimana tika tau sayang,...
rl4385: susah tidur
rl4385: gelisah nggak jelas
rl4385: agak konstipasi
rl4385: nggak mual spt tk biasa mual si...
rl4385: tapi rasanya spt kembung terus...
rl4385: sering pusing
rl4385: yg limbung
viko trah dewangga: konstipasi apaan sih?
rl4385: spt nggak stabil
rl4385: susah pup tapi pingin pup
rl4385: kalo biasanya kan tk susah pup tapi emg nggak pingin pup
rl4385: terus nggak bisa ma pan, di kursi di sofa, di kasur, di manapun...
rl4385: nggak bs blek sek
rl4385: susah tidur
rl4385: sering demam...
rl4385: lebih tepatnya spt demam terus
rl4385: bibirnya merah
rl4385: tk baca2... yg diatas, ternyata termasuk gejala kehamilan
rl4385: meski emg sgt2 ambigu sama nggak fit atau dapet
rl4385: oiya, dan agak2 anyang2an dan sering nyeri
rl4385: kaya kalo mau dpt
rl4385: begitu...
rl4385: and about me feeling weird -that unsettled feeling- it might be just a feeling... sugesti
rl4385: fu... r u still there?
viko trah dewangga: hihihiih.,.. tika beli tespack lagi deh,..
rl4385: iya,
rl4385: terus kemaren tk beli testpack
viko trah dewangga: buat mastiin.... ada baiknya beli juga jagan 1, tapi 2 ato 3 merek,.
viko trah dewangga: ya,..
rl4385: tadi pagi tk cek
rl4385: its two stripes
viko trah dewangga: it's mean?
rl4385: positif
viko trah dewangga: waaaaaaa,..... alhamdulilah,.......
viko trah dewangga: cek cek cek lagi sayang,..
rl4385: ^_^
rl4385: yap...
rl4385: im still feeling weird now
viko trah dewangga: alhamdulilah,.. kalo udah nanti ke lab,.. buat cek2 kesehatan alat reproduksinya,.. buat mastiin ga ada sesuatu yang bisa ganggu kesehatan janin kita,.. ya ya ya,..
rl4385: dan kmrn2 sbnrnya tk smpt ngebatin... mviko bbrp hari terakhir jg agak aleman kan
rl4385: gelisahan... mgkn krn tknya jg lg gelisah...
rl4385: that unsettled feeling i mentioned
rl4385: it really feels weird
viko trah dewangga: iya,... gelisah,.. pengen pulang,....
viko trah dewangga: yawes,. tika tenang aja,.. ya sayang,....
rl4385: never once like that before
viko trah dewangga: jaga kesehatan ya,...
rl4385: im oftenly weird, but not like that
viko trah dewangga: aku tak bilang mamaku ah,...
rl4385: seeekk...
rl4385: nanti dulu aja deh...
rl4385: kalo udah ke dr,
rl4385: dan sdh pasti semua2...
viko trah dewangga: hihiiiihihihih,.. i want to share my happiness,..
rl4385: iya emg anyel... ^.^ pagi ini tk jg anyel
viko trah dewangga: no no no no at least just about 2 strips,..
viko trah dewangga: to get blessing more,..
rl4385: tapi kalo trnyata salah
rl4385: tiwas imajinasi liar...
viko trah dewangga: gpp,.. yang penting ada sesuatu untuk lebih di doakan,..
rl4385: makanya td jg tk blg mviko i may be pregnant
rl4385: hum.... gitu ya...
viko trah dewangga: gpp,... sesutu itu awalnya dari harapan dan cara utama untuk memupuk harapan adalah dengan bermimpi,..
rl4385: iya sih... masih perlu didoakan....
rl4385: *then suddenly its getting weirder*
rl4385: >_<
rl4385: hihi...
viko trah dewangga: cup,. peluuk sayang,...
rl4385: peluk... facebookmu jg jgn aneh2 yg trll eksplisit dulu ya fu....
viko trah dewangga: i want to go homeee,.................................................................
rl4385: minimal biar org2 terdekat aja kalo emg mviko mau cerita...
viko trah dewangga: hiiiiihihhihih,.. gimana kalo statusnya gini ^^two strips,....
viko trah dewangga: hihiiihihi
rl4385: and for them not to be outloud
rl4385: sure not!
rl4385: please not....
rl4385: im still feeling not ready for questions ^_^
viko trah dewangga: oo,.. ya ya ya ya ya,...
rl4385: hap peluk dulu
rl4385: doain tk....
viko trah dewangga: peluk sayang,...
viko trah dewangga: aku jadi dek-dek-an ni,...
rl4385: puk puk.... jgn gelisah lagi jadinya ya...
viko trah dewangga is typing a message.
viko trah dewangga: pokoknya,.. tika ke dokter hari ini,..
rl4385: its way clearer now

buzzing things >_<

crocs sale at senci takes people on the queue since 9 am, from 8th floor to the 6th floor!

a friend unnecessarily bossing around, plus being grumpy still!

and still, i felt pity to her due to the slavish manner of her guy, which always waste and bossing her! and they're not even a couple!

and this bossy girl, does almost everything he asked, materially, physically, and seriously!

damned architect for not returning phone and email for too long!

husband on extra hour on extra meeting 3 days in a row, in the vacation week!

damned frizzy hair and red spots on my face!

stupid deadline, stupid objects, stupid schedules!

cash runs dry!

lame internets connection!

....hhhh.... peluk.....

collecting songs

my pick of music seems like stopped in the middle of my college year. which is frankly, perhaps is, by the time i feel like having myself completely wholly*
hihi... yea its like what its sounds. by that time i like them to make my days. but now i like them more as a beautiful colouring background,
and for some small particular times i need to re-gather myself ^_^
so while i still remember, since all i have is just the cassettes... here are the wishlists of albums or mp3 playlists i want to collect. for making my days, which also good for my backgrounds. umm yea... its going to be long list... and the list will be ordered as in my term of times, junior high-high school-college->closing.

1. Hanson - In the Middle of Nowhere (1997)

this is now becoming like such a guilty pleasure. but i still really think they're good, and this album is solid good. even actually im interested with their this time around and underneath.



2. Simply Red - It's Only Love (2000)

i actually dont know them well. but i keep remember their songs, and it looks like that i recognize their voice. what left marks on me for the most is just their say you love me, actually only that.



3. Lighthouse Family - Postcards from Heaven (1997)

beautiful songs, even i already use this album for background by that times. and this is maybe also the 1st time i found my true and effective pattern of buying albums, intuition :D yea, after all list i've made, i remember i picked this one randomly.

4. Jewel - Spirit (1998)
i continue buying albums randomly. when im buying it, i actually dont know any singles inside it, but in her previous album. but this albums seems doing good with me. i hadn't buy any more album for around 2 years after this one.


5. OST. The Lion King 2 - Return to Pride Rock (1998)

i love the movie. i love the characters. mood lifting songs.


6. Padi - Lain Dunia (1999) & Sesuatu yang Tertunda (2001)



7. Alanis Morisette - MTV Unplugged (1999)



8. Songs from Dawson's Creek - Vol 1 (1999) & Vol 2 (2000)



9. Green Day - Nimrod (1997)




10. Bryan Adams - The Best of Me (1999)



11. Embrace - If You've Never Been (2001)




12. Pet Shop Boys - Release (2002)




13. Ben Folds - Rockin the Suburbs (2001)




14. Club 8 - Spring Came, Rain Fell (2002)




15. Prambors Hits (2002)




16. Nelly Furtado - Whoa, Nelly! (2002)




17. Counting Crows - Films about Ghosts, The Best of... (2003)



18. The Best of R.E.M in time 1988-2003 (2003)




19. Matchbox Twenty - More than You Think You are (2002)




20. Norah Jones - Feels Like Home (2004)



---------then i remind some more :)


21. Michael Learns to Rock - Nothing to  Lose

22. U2 - All That You cant Leave Behind

23. The Corrs - Best of The Corrs

a selfish blog diary

its a diary, so its permitted to be selfish, the way i like it here.

here im about to steal trivias, things i always love, from a friend's blog.
i call it steal becuse until now, still i cant certainly decide if this public is open for public or not.
i actually cant wait to 'show off' my things, which are disorderly all me. but part of me just cant let it happen easily. even maybe that also the reason why i use english for this blog. yea its no regulation, may someday i will go back to bahasa... ^^
is it shyness, unconfidence, or a simply cowardy things i couldnt even care about.
well, as time goes by, thats what usually happen. hihi, i seems like prefer to be found , as always.

as if people would like to like what they found ^^ oh whatever.
then here are the trivias.

1. about my appetite

although now i avoid it as hard as i can, i think junkfood will always be on my top list of my fav. name it, fries, burger, fried stuff, salty crispy things in my mouth, i seems never get bored of them no matter how often i eat it or how undone they're cooked.
since then i know it that i have a bad taste for food. i cant differentiate any of them as long as they dont look like puke. my flaws. maybe thats why i dont really like seafood, especially when theyre not fried or covered with flours. theyre slimy, unshaped, and clams, they are black!
but anyway, i eat everythings. trully everythings. that some particular times i could eat them the uglies too. so actually all kind of food may have hopes on me :D
and for my own goodness, especially when i left alone with anything to eat, i thanked my self for always love breakfast food. i always love simple menu. good for my bad taste. good for my bad luck in the kitchen. good for my health.

2. about my phobias

i would say i dont have one
but maybe what i afraid for the most is losing, losing peoples i love
and of course before it, is of course loving itself :D what i mean is loving loving, which happened among more than one people only, which involved counting and depending on someone else not me.
maybe because i actually usually feel i could depend on myself for everything about myself (well i dont name it confidence, i believe its faith) and on the other hand, i feel i could never really know, or even allowed, to count or depend on other people.
yah anyway, i know it too, silly, and cliche. but it is what it is. i've dealt with it :D (i believe its faith, too)

3. about places

i am now crazy with singapore. as i found out maybe thats because i also crazy with jakarta here where im in. dont have to mention jakarta as a big city though. as i often say, im a small city town girl ^^ i love small savvy cute friendly and a bit vintage environment, lots to play and find out. im not really into greenies or natural environment though.

4. about my hands

is desperately be my favourite part of my body. i also kinda surprised that it havent even changed :D they are, small, fatty, and unbalanced. they just couldn't go simply straight. anyway i think theyre kinda cute. yea, totally subjective...

5. about my collections

haha! these kind of quizzes and trivia things, perhaps are actually my trully everlasting collections! if only i could collect my peoples filling these too, i would be very very glad. i like to get to know people as i like to get to know myself, there are always something new.... humm... yea, but its too stupid for them anyway.

6. about my idols

i dont really have one. i love people so many and so much, but as i say im not really into other people that much. humm... but i tend to like smart and ingenious and inspiring people :D i like george clooney for his attitude, i like zooey deschanel for her image and appearance, i like jk rowling for her complicated and heartful stories, and i cant forget usagi aka sailor moon for her power of love :D thats all for now

7. about my guilty pleasures

junkfood, easy movie, spoiled my self with whole a lot of me time,
and judge a product by its advertisements and packaging :D

8. about my personal issues

im in love and im happy. im married and im happy. love is good. this is beautiful.i hope i remember that for the rest of my life.
no matter how cliche and idiotic it could sounds sometimes.
lets say, its faith.

*hap hap ^_^

me vs the world

1. poverty-hunger-ignorance
2. stupidity-slavery-harassment
3. violence-bullies-mental illness
4. crime-war-politics
and
5. love-education-self consciousness

i found myself as a person who hate those upper 4 lists for the most, its my priorities.
which could be resolved with the 5th lists. pathetically, sadly, cliche. dunno why, but still feel them as a basic resolution, the key to the world.
they are such a bottom-up sicknesses i totally cant stand up. things i cant help to just ignore, but stay in my wildest deepest wishes. wild, because it must be took hell a lot of energy, time, regulation, power, and money... deep, because its cliche. i kinda dont trust cliche. i kinda dont trust myself. so i ll just keep it till i dont know when. it will still remain as my wish though.

love & peace,
amen.

being just a half

belum pingin pulang...

i feels like wanting sleeping in the office. with internet and my repeated playlist. music, it gets me wholly for many times. thanked god it doesnt happen frequently lately. but just in some particular times, like now... (sigh, laid my head on my desk)
nothings really happen actually. im just behalf on my pre-period moment. probably. i feel good. kinda empty. but good. my batteries run dry. but good... (sigh, laid my back on my chair)
i feel like able sleeping in the office.
i feel like able to awake all night tonight.
i feel like able to hold on like this just for ever.
i feel like feeling good, half conscious, but just good.
hmmm... there are times like this to write huh... i might forgot...

hmmm... however im glad i have husband to remember to awake, right about now.
half awake, but just good. hmmm... i simply just have to go home ya.
^^

story of a good boring girl

when i was younger i wanna grow fast,
that i can do everything i want
when im already grown i wanna be smart,
that i can do good things good
when im already smart i wanna be pretty,
that i can be heard better
when im already pretty i wanna be true,
knowing things are real
i know things are real when i make family,
that i dont want anything more
but loves that come together with god's hands,
in the days of our lives
and amen.

tagged: architecture

ternyata (memang) masih suka arsitektur...

im not a person who like to be categorized or tagged or identified, especially by what i wear, what i watch, what i read, what i listen, what i like, where i study, where i work, or any company or brand im standing with. no matter how precious they are. thats the highlight, not about how ugly they are (not yet mentioning it sometimes even more enjoyable to me, standing with 'the uglies', seeing people judging and not knowing, blinding themself :D). but judging, thats what i cant dislike. because people think. i think. even im an O blooded, easy judging --but yet, easy pardoning :D maybe thats why im able to tolerate that judging thing. there is a hope :D
hhh... its just that people should (at least try to) see other as personal (as possible). you cant judge a book by its cover, but yes it useful as a reference, so just please dont stop there.

i think ive ever stood with those two side both, the precious (which sometimes i realized that its not that precious) and the ugly (which sometimes there you also could see the particular beauties). now suddenly i feel grateful for them both in me.
my another flaws then lead me here. im not used to stand 'with' them, as in part of them. what i do, or what i feel i do, is just stand by my self and for my self, 'with' them, as in available for them or needing them. i am detached, or at least im fairly feel detached. there are times i got into them, but it has nothing to do with them knowing, and not ever confirming. i did it myself.

architecture, is precious. its really an honoured to be part it. even not yet mentioning how cool it sounds and which (cool) categorization it aims to (admit it or not people know this tendency). im being inside it, and whipped into it, tasted great actually. but seeing people admiring it, and lost themself into it, didnt feel good. i see people forgot their (originally human) own sight, started to see the world and even themself behind the tag, architecture (and there they're live in it).
i know it could be, and supposed to be, a wise move to do that, and it could be just my selfish thought to see that way. but i think people not supposed to tagged themself that way. you are not your company. its true, you are what you doing. but at least to me, doing architecture is the same with doing kindness. and you cant tag kindness, they come from different source you cant see. and people should (at least try to) see.
when they tagged themself that way, to me, they seems like already stopped in place. think thats why sometimes i even prefer one selfish architect doing their best-selfish-shots as a person (no matter how bad their works really are, but fyi, many of them are good too, effortlessly good!) than one philosophical architect forgetting their roots (no! its not about their local wisdom, not your traditional appreciation, not about your being as a responsible earth citizen or else, but about what you want and what you do behind) im tiring myself arent i :D yep, im slaved by the stupid children in me.

it might bothers me more than i thought before. that i slowly detached myself even more from the tag, architecture :D thats what im saying desperately about tiring myself. im doing cute pop stuff, fun decor, silly playful touch of attitude, stupid artsy thought, or else, which i (thankfully remember to) like.
afterall, im glad finding myself actually (still) like it, architecture, so that it didnt actually need me for being there. there i do what i have to do, while here outside i could do what i really have to do :D as i hope i will always have my self that way. as i hope people also will.

and the point of my written here, is actually just about one person i least expected from them. yu sing, a pretty young architect. honestly, hes not like mastering it or something. not even popular by the way they architect like it. but he reminds me (again) the preciousness of it. about touching people, lending thoughts and hands for a better living, and no need to explain how precious architecture itself is. he seems silly, just the way i like it. he talks about unpopular issue which is now popular, he talks about dream effortlessly (silly) as if dream is not popular. i dont know, i think hes stupidity pretty mesmerizing for many of them, that actually they just cant say no to him, because they still are bedazzled :D he seems to be honest. with himself, that makes him feel free to do this kind of stupidity (includes touching me). and with others, that makes him unstoppable. why bothers? :D

and one thing. hes doing that outloud. here i am again with my flaws of being too detached or too introverted phataticly. remembering what i like about what i do is about inspiring and bringing goodness that lead to happiness. so it actually should be outloud.
and what im doing now, is just whispers. and my whispers, are just for someone who think. and my think, is overthought :D
there i am started things all over again.
amen.

my catch from touring blogs

1 zooey deschanel, actually whats above is about her, not the room, kinda admire her lately. whimsical. and the room*hers* frankly pretty catchy also. took them from here and here.

2 different bedroom, but apparently i ike them both, took it from this cute blog

3 several room sequences from this NY interior designer blog inspires me good

4 she collect several lovely baby rooms too

5 this pretty inspiring...

6 vibrant colours and pattern, so very uplifting, most of her works really are

7 my kind of style, simple yet playful, orderly random ^^ took them from this nice blog


8 too bad, i cant find one funny and whimsical picture of 2 little girls that really make my day today, the older girl strap the younger onto the wall with tape...