bring it ooon!

Today I found myself seriously thinking, about one job finding for a just-married-sister. About her wedding will be another post. I wanted her to find her dream job. I mean, I know her qualities and else, and that she deserves a great one. Its just, why she didn't get into it this far. Soon I will ask her, her actual vision of dream job.

Meanwhile, I found myself another finding.
In term of job, I always know what I want to do and to be, since I was a kid. And even until now I know, I am (still) capable of doing that. Honestly, sometimes somehow its still haunting me, mesmerizing me. A writer, journalist, columnist, an individual media person with own thought within its world. The vision still remain cool and sparkling to me.

Then one by one the scenes came. I was there, in an interview with a famous editor in chief of a most-famous female intl magazine of a coolest in-town publisher. Hanging on a question, after a deadly brief of a job. A dream job. Mine.
She was explaining, that the position is open. But it takes like a total dedication, includes all the sparks I know. It means hours of overtime, and a working weekend or holiday trip, being socially active, party job thingy yes, yet it takes some qualification. SIGH. Then she asked, "are you the right fun fearless female for this job?" ...DOUBLE SIGH.

Talking about me. I confidently know, I have the qualification. I don't really like partying, but I would like to and will be able to do it, professionally. I like being around of people and gaining any kind of inputs. So, in term of fun, my opennes will lead me to it, and I definitely will have fun too. About fearless, I undoubtly have a lot of fear, but honestly, who doesn't?! But if one really expect me to say how I could represent fearless, I will say. I am fearless, because I'm here explaining this, by bringing only my self and my passion.
Short story, I didn't come for the next stage for the job. I let it go. It was actually heart-breaking. I have another solid and bigger dream. I think the job won't fit in, so then I won't too.
Then I just gone without notice. I got blank for sometimes. All those making me feel like I am no longer qualified, or further more, fun and fearless.
And today, after several paragraphs, I'm gladly pronounce, that I could consider myself as fun, and fearless once again.
Overall that's because I'm daring to let go one coolest dream job. Because I'm daring to choose and decide and still having fun. Because I'm daring to keep dreaming, take the alternative path, and still have faith for what I do.

Later on, the great opportunity came again. This time, it probably was my fav design magazine from UK. But I was in the middle of my pregnancy, while they need me asap for first time launching here in Ina. Smiling and sigh. But I came to the meeting though, talking and explaining.

Well its like, kinda no hope for me working in a magazine full time by now. What I do is to watch and improve.
So, what do I do now? What am I working while running after my super important bigger dream? :p
That's what I found today. In term of job, I found myself another career dream. I warn u, it might sounds cheesy. But it is not, and I am serious.

I will be the great woman behind the great men.
I watch, I learn, I assist, I support, I present, I accompany. I will bring it.
Later on, me, us, will make a comeback.

amen :)

battle of style: the closing

291012

Few days ago, I was kinda remain about a pray, a confusion, and an unsolved question...

Berani karena benar. Takut karena salah.

I might begin with that, but no. That's not positive enough for me. And I'm not supposed to be afraid. I know, I wasn't wrong though.

Dan teringat saat kebingungan beberapa waktu lalu. Kalau bukan orang tua yang pingin punya anak penurut, lalu kemudian apa?

There I was in a situation that remind me why. Why I'm here of all the version of a happy life. Why I don't actually want such only an obey kiddos, even without good reason to say.

Jadilah lebih dari sekadar penurut, fu kecil. Milikilah kekuatan untuk beranjak mencari kebenaran, kenalilah. Milikilah keberanian untuk memilihnya, setulus hati. Milikilah kecerdasan untuk dapat melakukannya, dengan kebaikan.

Peoples remind me about karma. Actually I'm not really sure if its good or bad, doing things this way. But for sure, it isn't easy, technically and mentally. That includes me telling these all to you, too ^^ grow big baby, grow good, grow happy...

Dan ketika terasa sampai di ujung jalan, ternyata kebingungan. Seperti ada kesalahan. Hati dan pikiran, ucapan dan perbuatan, tidak bisa diselaraskan. Maka bukanlah takut. Tetaplah berani, untuk berserah. Yang Maha Kuasa ada di sana, selalu, memeluk.

Never forget, to let God do the rest. Right after you made your steps and pray. Right after you did your best, even at your worst, inside out. Have faith ^^