gloomy pregnant darling

it still begins with a smile ^^

the 1st 2 month are full of browsing and googling files. having a new sense of something growing inside of me. thanks god there re not much puke and dizziness but light and fuzzy feeling over me. things are the same but the days are so brand new. there is something im carrying. they say im carrying love. and i like it how its mentioned.

the 3rd month month im puking those files. haha. it fills me too full. thanks god i could remember pretty much. because worries and heavy body cant get enough of me. im such a laid back. cant eat good. cant go out smooth. i dont like pimples. and peoples seems dont like my mood.

i did adaptate at the 4th month. i let go the pimples and fill my mood with holiday zest. i picked my track. i chose you with no doubt. though still yes its been a hard fight among me, milk, and fastfood flick. anyway, they say youre already there by the moment. im saying hellos during the days. and i feel it was you rolling inside, right on my way back home from the 4th checkups. on your 16th week.

i see that hellos could never be enough. even i suddenly forgot my prays. its like that many words and hopes and wishes and bless came out of me couldnt ever fill and fit you well. again im becoming stupid. everyhtings becoming blurry to me. i feel like all i can do is to hug. and yet i couldnt do that. i recognize you on your 5th month. and all i can do is just random bubbles of hellos and prays. i desperately hope you can recognize that as love. i love you and so whatever.

yea, i cant say that many of thingy but i love you.
and fu, you re also there in the sentence. i love you too.
^^ my everything.