happy neigh year

chinese new year holiday it is, am borrowing sissy's laptop at night. a bit realizing that cant really write blog from cellphone, even iphone :)
and am just in the right mood to write. i knew it when i got my baby sleep in my old childhood bedroom, next to my brother's bedroom, which is just being cleared up. the room that used to be messily tidy, with some unwritten restrictions and lots of knickknacks toys. its now just some room where you're allowed to jump in. just wondering what kind of room it will be later.
i smell an abstinence. not that its a bad thing. he's growing up. like life's been as always. well, i haven't even updated my baby's milestones at his 4th birthday. but the highlight for me is that he's being very chatty lately and his english is so much improved. i kinda believe he could survive a conversation with a foreigner already.

and then...
yea, i switched to iphone 4 in november,
thats by the time fufa lost his 4S and switched to iphone 5,
baby turned 4 on december29,
brother just got married onJanuary 26,
sister graduated her college 2 days before,
license to build our home is released in december,
new investor on our way,
by the end of last year tda arcindo died,
its now td + associates,
im 62 kilos and trying to survive,
wanted to do some book project,
still fighting to have my regular exercise,
and on my way convincing oma to move to bintaro
^__^
 
and of all these, as basically i dont know if i could ever again feel enough by saying thank you, i... took break. what i know is that i have to keep improving. early in this year, i hardly mind about my mouth, my words, my way speaking my thoughts. i decided i wanna be wiser.
not so long ago, someone i trust told me that i have tendency to stop at only identifying, minus solving or acting things out. it knocks me, that i can see how it happens to me, although together with bunch of reasons and excuses crossing my head. damn i dont know how to be wiser. in fact, i dont know what i could do with this new consciousness, that its not enough even to realize that realizing in not enough and so on ...sigh.
but hey... i know that every little things count. one thing lead to another. and we are all connected. and i know that wasnt even close words to such a wiser me, except i stop. to do is what i do. bismillah...
You throw me happiness through my loveliest surrounding persons, please help me to answer them. i want to gather all myself for good. for peoples i love, the world i live in, communities in need, and You whose never let go of me. im not forgetting my effort to be appeared more proper at any day. and i wish i could hold on this another new one. i will be wiser. sincerely nicer. amen.