Nationalist

We must admit that we human, has tendency to see what we want to see. To hear what we want to hear. Then to believe and have faith for it. By that point, it seems like able to remark our strong characters and such things. This tendency may go even stronger when we love something/someone, or at least when we're into it.

When you're a nationalist, you love your country. It seems like, you're after positivities. You find excuses. You appreciate sugarcoat. You make ways to improve. Just then if you're smart enough, you stand for the better, and work it for good. You being true. That's my thought of a nationalist, and well, i dont think i have that much of qualification indeed. I may be not. The things are, i dont want to be only after positivities, i dont want any excuses, more over sugarcoated news.

If i ever wanted those dazzling glittery stuff, let it be about my family, or kids. Even then i won't even stop right there. Insyaallah, I will continue working it to make ways, and so on as i told before. So, if being a nationalist means i should be kinda proud blindly, or be smug over one side news, or be collectively perky about such unclear achievements, im ok not being a nationalist. And this nation, i think, pretty much needs more than that anyway. May we just could ever make ways to improve, stand for the better, and work it for good, faithfully.

There're not much of my sweet words and else related to this country. But a bunch of peoples of creativity and vibrant passions and survival skills to be really happily alive without any terms and conditions. I (sigh) pretty much care for this nation. Sometimes too much that it dissapoints me, everytime i questioned and researched, over and over again. But well, i keep on going, just always on my way. That in my adult self, turns out i feel like i still have hope too. That i could still have this country survived as a home sweet home. For me, AND my family.

In this no-boundaries era, i think that's strong. Because again, maybe it's only for my family that i would digest flaws, excuses, and sugarcoat positively. And if i would ever swallow without even digest, let it be only for Allah SWT's Islam, insyaallah. Nothing but the best, my dears. So if i could ever wish this country to stay being my family's home, written in our passport~~ well, that got to be strong, and got to be for good. For me, it's already means more than just being a nationalist. May we able to work it out.

Am i getting old?

Nowadays, i see many peoples are not only smart and bright. But also wise. And thoughtful. And cultured. And inspiring too. Even the introverts, they're everywhere, out and about. I think we really are in the peak of "everybody matters" era.

Despite all the chaos and hatred and any bizarre things, it seems kinda cool eh. But ummm... i dont know. I dont mean to be negative but i feel like kinda lost my appetite just like that. I just hope it doesnt bring me any less or worse =) i wish i have anything pretty wise too to tell, but no. Im seeing all them as bizarre. Im just not impressed x]

The world is so colorful and humans are so uniques and systems are so ...crazy. just like that. I tend to over-simplifying like that, instead of bring up the good words that may enlight the humanity...........noooo im not being sarcastic. Or maybe i do. I dont know. But well, peoples are cool lately. Whatever, thats the point. I am in the peak of cool people era.

That it kinda sucks me in and maybe... i got kinda overwhelmed. (White flag). I do random wise bizarre words since primary, but now its like i dont want to do it anymore. I dont know maybe i feel like losing my privilege or something. Coolness seems cheap today. Contents are for sale. And... i dont know... it seems like no more unique for being unique today... whatever happened everything are unique every now and then though.

And so i feel im kinda going back to old values. Religion, modesty, hard work, perseverance, honesty, sincere, afterlife.... anything unfancy. Not that i nailed it though. Im pretty much lucy-generation remember... the old millenial. I grow up knowing that i am special and any other sparkly fun facts i still cant resist. But yes... i feel like i kinda do a step back.

Is it from my character. Is it from my latest thought. Is it from my age. Is it what happened to old peoples when they stop being fun (and oh at least please maybe could start being wise). Is it what happened to old boring people when they start becomes skeptical (and oh at least please dont start looking down to younger others). Is it what happened to old boring unwise people when they choose to be righteous and so stiff (and somewhat stubborn). Am i getting old like that?

I see many peoples too, say that (in their wiser self) they start narrowing their circle of peoples. That they would rather stick with the long-known-tested circle. No longer eager to expand and start new ones. Well that im not into. Somehow in that case i think i go backward. My younger self choose small circles. As i grow, i aim bigger and bigger circles.... i think to the point i cant even tell i want any certain circles. It seems like, peoples would already do. Up to this point, I thanked Allah SWT for my beloved family, really.

So honestly, in the same time im also not so much into travel all around the world or whatsoever trending now. But some cheesy branded hand bags, i cant lie. Destinations do not mesmerize me, but any street views would do. Wise people arent impressed me much. but common civils do. Regarding to that... is there any hope that its not me getting old and boring and unwise.

Cough. Well, old and boring... its hard not to get there eh. But really... despite of im being uninspired by wise words or wise peoples lately... i hope im not going unwise. As i know Allah SWT, and as a lucy generation, and as always me myself,  i actually have faith in a good life. Being unwise and shutted down, are not any of it. So, please~~ dear me, be wise.