Menjelang pesta pertama ^^ ulang taun ketiga si bocah, shaka, tole, shaktol, shaktong, martongtong, sayangnya mama yang nomer satu sedunia raya itu...
Selain dari persiapan pesta yg termasuk kategori super niat utk ukuran mamanya yg gak hobi pesta2an apalagi jd tuan pesta, ada lah yg lain lagi. Insyaallah adalah, bahan jualan yg lain, yg secara tidak langsung akan launching bareng pestanya. I'm now calling it {et.si.tect]
Ya begitulah, sekalinya pesta harus worth it kiri kanan depan belakang atas bawah. Bukan karena gak mau rugi ya fu kecil, cuma supaya mamanya ini lbh pemberani dan tangguh aja nemuin tamu ^.^ as professional.
Jadi udah bisa apa aja yg mau ulang taunan? Banyak pastinya. Kan nomer satu sedunia raya.
Udah bisa berhitung satu-sepuluh dan one-thirteen. Dan mengenali angkanya jg 1-10. Dan mulai aware angka sampe seputaran twenty, 20.
Udah mengenali sebagian besar huruf dlm bahasa enggrees tapi. Yg suka lupa adalah antara 'i' dan 'y', sama yg jarang2 mcm d, f, q, x, dan utk huruf 't' sering disebut mama. Krn mama inisialnya 't' dari tika ^.^
Warna dalam bahasa tentu udah bisa semua. Dlm bhs inggris dlm sebulan terakhir sekolah udah bisa green blue red yellow, sama tau tp suka lupa purple white black...
Perkembangan bahasa inggrisnya jg tampak lumayan, dan trnyt cepet jg. School helps a lot. Skrg udh biasa pake frase 2 kata adjective-objective. Sama daily conversation tampak udh familiar jg.
Mungkin krn sekolah jg, keliatannya si skrg jd agak mau lbh terbuka sama orang lain, khususnya orang baru. Karena sebulan ini sdh sekolah sendiriii \(^_^)/ kelas terakhirnya, udh jalan sendiri masuk kelas sambil manyun, sedikit jeritan nangis anyel, dan udah. Cengengesan aja smp pulang, ketemu di luar kelas. Meskipun masih pe-er utk motivating di pagi hari sebelum berangkat. Hihihi...
Secara fisiiiik, belum ngukur lg. Nanti ya, rencana mau checkup lg segera kok. Tp keliatannya si skrg jd lbh sekel, dan ukuran baju tampak mulai lebih relevan sama umur.
New favorite food? Stroberi tetep, spaghetti tetep, pizza tetep, vitamin, scotts, madu, yupi, lolipop, dan tentu saja aneka kripik pake mecin. Coklat sm es krim ga terlalu hobi. Yg terakhir itu masih di banned si, takut ketagihan, penyakit menurun itu. Hihihi...
Trus udah tau kebanyakan nama alat berat, exca, loader, crane, forklift, kompektor, sheepfoot, grader, lowboy, mixer, driller, traktor, dozer, dan bbrp nama mobil yg bentuknya spesifik, dan mengenali mobil jerman. Kayaknya si semua hafalannya berdasarkan detail bentuk.
Peka pengaturan icon, detail kendaraan, tapi mamanya gonta-ganti wallpaper ipod gak pernah dinotice -___-
Kosa kata udah nggak bisa dicatet lagi si. Krn sekarang sdg sangat ceriwis. Bisa bawel dan ngeyel kalo dimarahin atau dikasitau. But it sometimes helps si, utk ngingetin spy sabar. Because yes, child does imitate, very easily.
"Jangan marah mama, jangan pukung.."
"Kok shaka ditarik siii"
"Jangan gitu mama, jangan..."
"Shaka badannya nggak enak ni..."
"Shaka sumuk ni, harusnya mandi.."
"Shaka udah bau ni, harusnya cawik.."
"Disini sumuk, lengket, harusnya di kamar aja..."
"Oo ya ya ya ya"
"Mau apa kita?"
"Skrg mau apa?" Makan "habis itu?" Mandi "habis itu?" Santai2 "habis itu?" Bobo... Dst. Modusnya nunggu dibilang mau ke mall/supermarket, dan atau waspada sama jadwal sekolah.
"Udah gelap, sekolahnya udah tutup?" Dan kemudian cengengesan lega.
Bahahahahahaha
Yang pasti, mamanya udh pingin mbak baru....
:D
mid day sun day
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Thursday, November 08, 2012
bring it ooon!
Thursday, November 08, 2012
Today I found myself seriously thinking, about one job finding for a just-married-sister. About her wedding will be another post. I wanted her to find her dream job. I mean, I know her qualities and else, and that she deserves a great one. Its just, why she didn't get into it this far. Soon I will ask her, her actual vision of dream job.
Meanwhile, I found myself another finding.
In term of job, I always know what I want to do and to be, since I was a kid. And even until now I know, I am (still) capable of doing that. Honestly, sometimes somehow its still haunting me, mesmerizing me. A writer, journalist, columnist, an individual media person with own thought within its world. The vision still remain cool and sparkling to me.
Then one by one the scenes came. I was there, in an interview with a famous editor in chief of a most-famous female intl magazine of a coolest in-town publisher. Hanging on a question, after a deadly brief of a job. A dream job. Mine.
She was explaining, that the position is open. But it takes like a total dedication, includes all the sparks I know. It means hours of overtime, and a working weekend or holiday trip, being socially active, party job thingy yes, yet it takes some qualification. SIGH. Then she asked, "are you the right fun fearless female for this job?" ...DOUBLE SIGH.
Talking about me. I confidently know, I have the qualification. I don't really like partying, but I would like to and will be able to do it, professionally. I like being around of people and gaining any kind of inputs. So, in term of fun, my opennes will lead me to it, and I definitely will have fun too. About fearless, I undoubtly have a lot of fear, but honestly, who doesn't?! But if one really expect me to say how I could represent fearless, I will say. I am fearless, because I'm here explaining this, by bringing only my self and my passion.
Short story, I didn't come for the next stage for the job. I let it go. It was actually heart-breaking. I have another solid and bigger dream. I think the job won't fit in, so then I won't too.
Then I just gone without notice. I got blank for sometimes. All those making me feel like I am no longer qualified, or further more, fun and fearless.
And today, after several paragraphs, I'm gladly pronounce, that I could consider myself as fun, and fearless once again.
Overall that's because I'm daring to let go one coolest dream job. Because I'm daring to choose and decide and still having fun. Because I'm daring to keep dreaming, take the alternative path, and still have faith for what I do.
Later on, the great opportunity came again. This time, it probably was my fav design magazine from UK. But I was in the middle of my pregnancy, while they need me asap for first time launching here in Ina. Smiling and sigh. But I came to the meeting though, talking and explaining.
Well its like, kinda no hope for me working in a magazine full time by now. What I do is to watch and improve.
So, what do I do now? What am I working while running after my super important bigger dream? :p
That's what I found today. In term of job, I found myself another career dream. I warn u, it might sounds cheesy. But it is not, and I am serious.
I will be the great woman behind the great men.
I watch, I learn, I assist, I support, I present, I accompany. I will bring it.
Later on, me, us, will make a comeback.
amen :)
Meanwhile, I found myself another finding.
In term of job, I always know what I want to do and to be, since I was a kid. And even until now I know, I am (still) capable of doing that. Honestly, sometimes somehow its still haunting me, mesmerizing me. A writer, journalist, columnist, an individual media person with own thought within its world. The vision still remain cool and sparkling to me.
Then one by one the scenes came. I was there, in an interview with a famous editor in chief of a most-famous female intl magazine of a coolest in-town publisher. Hanging on a question, after a deadly brief of a job. A dream job. Mine.
She was explaining, that the position is open. But it takes like a total dedication, includes all the sparks I know. It means hours of overtime, and a working weekend or holiday trip, being socially active, party job thingy yes, yet it takes some qualification. SIGH. Then she asked, "are you the right fun fearless female for this job?" ...DOUBLE SIGH.
Talking about me. I confidently know, I have the qualification. I don't really like partying, but I would like to and will be able to do it, professionally. I like being around of people and gaining any kind of inputs. So, in term of fun, my opennes will lead me to it, and I definitely will have fun too. About fearless, I undoubtly have a lot of fear, but honestly, who doesn't?! But if one really expect me to say how I could represent fearless, I will say. I am fearless, because I'm here explaining this, by bringing only my self and my passion.
Short story, I didn't come for the next stage for the job. I let it go. It was actually heart-breaking. I have another solid and bigger dream. I think the job won't fit in, so then I won't too.
Then I just gone without notice. I got blank for sometimes. All those making me feel like I am no longer qualified, or further more, fun and fearless.
And today, after several paragraphs, I'm gladly pronounce, that I could consider myself as fun, and fearless once again.
Overall that's because I'm daring to let go one coolest dream job. Because I'm daring to choose and decide and still having fun. Because I'm daring to keep dreaming, take the alternative path, and still have faith for what I do.
Later on, the great opportunity came again. This time, it probably was my fav design magazine from UK. But I was in the middle of my pregnancy, while they need me asap for first time launching here in Ina. Smiling and sigh. But I came to the meeting though, talking and explaining.
Well its like, kinda no hope for me working in a magazine full time by now. What I do is to watch and improve.
So, what do I do now? What am I working while running after my super important bigger dream? :p
That's what I found today. In term of job, I found myself another career dream. I warn u, it might sounds cheesy. But it is not, and I am serious.
I will be the great woman behind the great men.
I watch, I learn, I assist, I support, I present, I accompany. I will bring it.
Later on, me, us, will make a comeback.
amen :)
Thursday, November 01, 2012
battle of style: the closing
Thursday, November 01, 2012
291012
Few days ago, I was kinda remain about a pray, a confusion, and an unsolved question...
Berani karena benar. Takut karena salah.
I might begin with that, but no. That's not positive enough for me. And I'm not supposed to be afraid. I know, I wasn't wrong though.
Dan teringat saat kebingungan beberapa waktu lalu. Kalau bukan orang tua yang pingin punya anak penurut, lalu kemudian apa?
There I was in a situation that remind me why. Why I'm here of all the version of a happy life. Why I don't actually want such only an obey kiddos, even without good reason to say.
Jadilah lebih dari sekadar penurut, fu kecil. Milikilah kekuatan untuk beranjak mencari kebenaran, kenalilah. Milikilah keberanian untuk memilihnya, setulus hati. Milikilah kecerdasan untuk dapat melakukannya, dengan kebaikan.
Peoples remind me about karma. Actually I'm not really sure if its good or bad, doing things this way. But for sure, it isn't easy, technically and mentally. That includes me telling these all to you, too ^^ grow big baby, grow good, grow happy...
Dan ketika terasa sampai di ujung jalan, ternyata kebingungan. Seperti ada kesalahan. Hati dan pikiran, ucapan dan perbuatan, tidak bisa diselaraskan. Maka bukanlah takut. Tetaplah berani, untuk berserah. Yang Maha Kuasa ada di sana, selalu, memeluk.
Never forget, to let God do the rest. Right after you made your steps and pray. Right after you did your best, even at your worst, inside out. Have faith ^^
Few days ago, I was kinda remain about a pray, a confusion, and an unsolved question...
Berani karena benar. Takut karena salah.
I might begin with that, but no. That's not positive enough for me. And I'm not supposed to be afraid. I know, I wasn't wrong though.
Dan teringat saat kebingungan beberapa waktu lalu. Kalau bukan orang tua yang pingin punya anak penurut, lalu kemudian apa?
There I was in a situation that remind me why. Why I'm here of all the version of a happy life. Why I don't actually want such only an obey kiddos, even without good reason to say.
Jadilah lebih dari sekadar penurut, fu kecil. Milikilah kekuatan untuk beranjak mencari kebenaran, kenalilah. Milikilah keberanian untuk memilihnya, setulus hati. Milikilah kecerdasan untuk dapat melakukannya, dengan kebaikan.
Peoples remind me about karma. Actually I'm not really sure if its good or bad, doing things this way. But for sure, it isn't easy, technically and mentally. That includes me telling these all to you, too ^^ grow big baby, grow good, grow happy...
Dan ketika terasa sampai di ujung jalan, ternyata kebingungan. Seperti ada kesalahan. Hati dan pikiran, ucapan dan perbuatan, tidak bisa diselaraskan. Maka bukanlah takut. Tetaplah berani, untuk berserah. Yang Maha Kuasa ada di sana, selalu, memeluk.
Never forget, to let God do the rest. Right after you made your steps and pray. Right after you did your best, even at your worst, inside out. Have faith ^^
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
school boy
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Akhirnya mencoba menulis mencicil via bb demi tulisan gak keputus dgn tanggungnya seperti yg lalu :p
Another few days more, and you my dearest lil boy, will start your first day of school. Yes. Not another trial class on the go. But the real one, as an official new student :) in Shining Stars it is.
Its not the first school came to our mind actually, as u can read in my previous post about school plan. But then we made up our mind, regarding the everythings.
And somehow, back to my very first post about dreamlist that includes school looong ago, there you can see the picture of the same school you will enter though :)
There I hope you can have more of the prologue and guidance entering the real world, with near-to-real community and peoples. More of someone and knowledge to trust and count on. More of sometimes and faith to hold on :)
Later we may drown into cheers and joy, as we might slip onto bitter and pain. Later we may find spirit and passion as we might meet words and judges.
Later we may see world at it best, even if there'll always come the rainy days. And later we even may see pieces of peace in a rainy day, laid in only a cup of coffee. Or milk. Or cola :)
I myself might also will start a new phase of being a parent of yours, facing a battle of ideal cultural values, common city issues, life-changing choices, and else. Gyah! :D *anxious already
The thing is, as I ever heard before, that you going to school my boy, is maybe more like a milestone for us, your parents. Its like the words soon to come...
Life is yours baby, make your move, do your choice, don't forget to smile, and embrace it all :) amen.
Ps: the date is tomorrow by now, have fun schooling my toddler boy! ^^
Another few days more, and you my dearest lil boy, will start your first day of school. Yes. Not another trial class on the go. But the real one, as an official new student :) in Shining Stars it is.
Its not the first school came to our mind actually, as u can read in my previous post about school plan. But then we made up our mind, regarding the everythings.
And somehow, back to my very first post about dreamlist that includes school looong ago, there you can see the picture of the same school you will enter though :)
There I hope you can have more of the prologue and guidance entering the real world, with near-to-real community and peoples. More of someone and knowledge to trust and count on. More of sometimes and faith to hold on :)
Later we may drown into cheers and joy, as we might slip onto bitter and pain. Later we may find spirit and passion as we might meet words and judges.
Later we may see world at it best, even if there'll always come the rainy days. And later we even may see pieces of peace in a rainy day, laid in only a cup of coffee. Or milk. Or cola :)
I myself might also will start a new phase of being a parent of yours, facing a battle of ideal cultural values, common city issues, life-changing choices, and else. Gyah! :D *anxious already
The thing is, as I ever heard before, that you going to school my boy, is maybe more like a milestone for us, your parents. Its like the words soon to come...
Life is yours baby, make your move, do your choice, don't forget to smile, and embrace it all :) amen.
Ps: the date is tomorrow by now, have fun schooling my toddler boy! ^^
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
home maker
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
ada orang yang menulis di titik terendahnya. ada orang yang menulis di titik tertingginya. tk, mungkin adalah yang menulis saat berada diantaranya.
sebenarnya tk selalu menulis saat berada di titik terendah, tapi hal itu menjadi sangat negatif dan tidak tampak sebagai sesuatu yg layak diingat. ummm, mungkin dulu waktu sebelum 20, ketika kegilaan kadang masih bisa keliatan brilian, tp skrg, hmmm i need all the positivity i could possibly have :p ...jadi tulisan2 di titik terendah itu, kebanyakan untuk dihilangkan.
Dan di titik tertinggi... tentu sangat memforsir diri untuk menulis. tapi biasanya terlalu sibuk, dan tulisannya nggak lebih dr sekedar memo :p so here i am.
di area antara. ingin menuliskan yang rendah. ingin menguraikan yg tinggi ^^ seringnya sedang kecapekan. ingin menjadi jujur. secara benar.
hmmmm... jd gini... bisa dibilang sekarang ini, jadwal berantem sama fufa jelek itu nyaris tiap 2 minggu sekali -___-' sekitar itulah. it seems so hard to survive a month without it. dan coba apa, itu bahkan sdh lebih baik drpd sekitar tahun lalu. gini ni siklusnya. hari ke 1 berantem, 2 dingin, 3 salah satu mencoba ngadem, 4 berdua mencoba ngadem, 5 kalem, 6 recovery, 7-14 getting better, from zero to hero, great times altogether... dan kemudian tanpa ada apa2, tiba2 dtg lg hari ke 1 -____-"
heheheh... tampak lucu ya, tapi nggak deh. selalu ada kekhawatiran kalo ada sisa-sisa kejahatan, sisa-sisa kesalahan, sisa-sisa sakit hati, atau sisa-sisa apapun yg bisa menjerumuskan. we, or at least me... i dont know if one day i could ever be used to it... in any way, a fight seems will never be familiar to me. but maybe in the contrary, ...i like it having ones. bukannya apa, nikahan tanpa ada berantem, itu juga tdk normal... its just, i hope we could survive through them all. the fightings, the hurtings, the thoughts, the anythings... its scarry. so much scarry...
kadang tk berpikir kalau-kalau sampai ada yg diantara kita berdua sampai pada limit capek masing2. hmm... adakah itu...*knock on wood. i mean, i believe we love each other, i trust him is a good smart person, and a responsible husband and father. sabar dan ikhlas emang pe-er nya. in times, i gotta learn to trust that shit happens and it doesnt mean that i dont belong. its not that i have to let go. but its how i have to hold on and make it good. then leave the rest of it. and for those everything, there always be a chance, even just the slightest, for us to survive, happily.
i always have to remember the day when i see clearly how God put us together, for a reason, a good one. yes, there was that day when i look at to the black sky above His house, and he seems so near, and chuckled. im glad i had that moment. i know it gonna be useful, having the faith of us. that its the right thing to be. jadi begitulah kira2, kalau dari perspektif tk, bisa menulis begini sambil sebel, sedih, kuatir, tapi mulai tenang itu, artinya kira2 ada di siklus hari ke 3 atau 4 :p
this is aint so positive. why do i write it?
cuma untuk mengingatkan ^^ kalau ini udah bolak-balik terjadi. dan setelah diuraikan jd terasa agak normal. biasa saja. pada kenyataannya masih punya banyak untuk disyukuri. termasuk untuk mensyukuri bahwa berantem hari ke3 meski masih nyinyir2an, tp udh bisa ketawa bareng hari ini. mungkin masih ketawa yg diusahakan. tapi artinya ada usaha, dan jelas nggak cuma sendirian aja. somewhere there, hes also trying to do good, surviving us. nggak peduli di hari ke1 bawaannya mau kabur ajah :p its a positive thing, i think.
juga untuk mengingatkan... kalau ini udah terjadi berbulan-bulan, dan betapapun jeleknya perasaan dan pemikiran yg pernah lewat ataupun tinggal tetap... pada intinya, ternyata nggak ada yg berubah dari tk. nggak sedikitpun terpikir menyesal atau tidak puas, menginginkan yg selain ini. marah, sakit hati, sedih, sebel, jelas ada. rekaman peristiwa juga ada. lebih dari itu, tk tau nggak mungkin tk merasakan itu sendirian aja. Bahkan pada saat terburuknya, tk tau orientasi fufa jelek itu, lebih dari tk tau orientasi tk sendiri, lebih dari penjelasan dia atas orientasinya. meskipun yang akan tk pegang adalah penjelasannya aja :p i know it always there. the love, goodness, wise person inside of him. all within integrity. dengan begitu tk tau bahwa tk jg harus bertahan. karena pada satu titik tk sadar bahwa kita masih memperjuangkan hal yang sama.
i may whine, but i should let alone feelings to move on. i just hope he could stand me whining, and asking, in confuse, and take times to understand :p as i hope i could stand him being distant in times, tricky, and doing such a oh-please-network -___-" ...i hope we'll always eachother's back, and front. ah and maybe working out the unpleasant trait day by day would be helpful.... well, lately he told me to ask things in detail when praying, so there they are... :p
i found myself still loving him to the core, knowing that he's a great husband for me and super father for my kid, wanting to be with him like forever, working a warm good home for him and kiddo, be happy altogether. that what i should remember myself.
Friday, February 03, 2012
water-dragon breeze
Friday, February 03, 2012
its been a while ^^
my lil family been through a pretty much ups and downs. new schedule. new chores. new milestones. new vision perhaps :p but think its now somewhat started to be left behind. um. we re just somewhat trying to be more focus i guess. trying to be as good, as effective, as possible. last year was a blast. for mviko to quit his job, for my lil baby to reach two, for me to keep sane :p one cant, i cant imagine how i count week by week month by month, until i came to a point where nothing seems really matter. maybe God saved me, because God (always) save us so far. and once i cant see it as a good indication, as if we need help that big or what..... but then again i came again to that point where me doesnt matter. God knows better, and been so kind and cuddly, there must be some good reason for everything. amen. though i cant tell if its faith or forces of nature talking, but there were i standing. just try to be more focus on what im doing. and i hugged Him before then, before everything else. there were i.
so, what im doing? ^^ me, im seeing how much i can be an assistant. a companion. a friend in need. a partner. anything as part of an integrated support system to my family, with all of my strength and weaknesses. yea, in times, feeling seems unnecessary but a ruin factor. but um. lets just embrace it and take it as a bless. embrace, i dont know i will come to a time to really use this phrase. and about what i found, what i try to analyze, what i try to accept, what i try to see, it might takes forever or never to get it solved. it will always be debatable, and theres no use to prolong (except ure in such a pms mood to calm u down and to keep u sane by making other people insane). so i won't go detailing. its just, by the end of the day, again, i found myself loving people im here with right now.
my husband as a whole package, is still the greatest who brought me my most happiness, most secure and comfort feelings ive ever had, and keep on doing it. and nothing else to say about my baby, as always. its a definite feeling when u see him in the eye and he do it back and the clock stop ticking and hes smiling. he simply mesmerized me by his every inch, his every move and saying. having them as a family. even to reach myself as today this way is already a bless.
and, whats happened? um, i'll try to make it short. mviko quit his job and finally for the first time, we 3 stay together in a house, i guess its started at around june 2011. then we practically do this and that, every little things count. and yeah ok, its miracle that gets us survived. i think we kinda live in such alternative way. um, it might sounds somewhat cool, but trust me it just wasnt that fancy. then maybe due to some gradual changes happened to our life (me pregnant-newborn-breastfeeding-pms coming back-me as a mom-new enterpreneur-living together-and else i cant remember... see, too many changes and waves in a time is aint fancy) ...there were slight clashes, and crashes too :p well, new year feels like a breeze to me since then, its like "ok its new year, everything new a re allowed to happened, right about now..." hihihi... its been a kinda exhausting year before...
and the baby? wow. shaka boy reached a lot. umm... he's two and he can count until ten either in english or bahasa. now he's 25mos and he already understand the different between numbers and alphabets (finally). the 3 first colors he recognized is green, orange, purple,disregarding the yellow whose sooo oftenly come, so that i cant tell if he really recognize it or not. but now he already knew green, orange, purple, yellow, pink, blue, black... sometimes grey and white... without red -___- odd eh?! and then his 3 first songs are burung kakatua, tiktiktik bunyi hujan, cicak-cicak di dinding,... but now hes seems so fond in naik kereta api. his favorite creature fellow started by hippo, then the excavator... and it grows to truck, taxi, police car/ambulance, mixer, compactor and those big vehicles. and about a week ago he also made his 1st scientific question/statement. hes standing in the car back seat seeing the sky then say "the star, the moon, is walking, following shaka" ...i think, wow.
and by the way, after 2 years sailing here in this house, we will move in a very early march, next month. gotta move to another rent house. its pretty a while eh... ^^ and mviko is now again in distant, after like 6 months stay together here. i missed him. no matter how peace right now is, writing in the night, having my own schedule as i like, i want him here like always. even with any errands that could possibly happened. we 3 together are just too worth. i missed him. no matter what could possibly lay beneath. kinda hope he feels the same, even just a slightest. but anyway, may this bless works forever. may it be the greatest.
my lil family been through a pretty much ups and downs. new schedule. new chores. new milestones. new vision perhaps :p but think its now somewhat started to be left behind. um. we re just somewhat trying to be more focus i guess. trying to be as good, as effective, as possible. last year was a blast. for mviko to quit his job, for my lil baby to reach two, for me to keep sane :p one cant, i cant imagine how i count week by week month by month, until i came to a point where nothing seems really matter. maybe God saved me, because God (always) save us so far. and once i cant see it as a good indication, as if we need help that big or what..... but then again i came again to that point where me doesnt matter. God knows better, and been so kind and cuddly, there must be some good reason for everything. amen. though i cant tell if its faith or forces of nature talking, but there were i standing. just try to be more focus on what im doing. and i hugged Him before then, before everything else. there were i.
so, what im doing? ^^ me, im seeing how much i can be an assistant. a companion. a friend in need. a partner. anything as part of an integrated support system to my family, with all of my strength and weaknesses. yea, in times, feeling seems unnecessary but a ruin factor. but um. lets just embrace it and take it as a bless. embrace, i dont know i will come to a time to really use this phrase. and about what i found, what i try to analyze, what i try to accept, what i try to see, it might takes forever or never to get it solved. it will always be debatable, and theres no use to prolong (except ure in such a pms mood to calm u down and to keep u sane by making other people insane). so i won't go detailing. its just, by the end of the day, again, i found myself loving people im here with right now.
my husband as a whole package, is still the greatest who brought me my most happiness, most secure and comfort feelings ive ever had, and keep on doing it. and nothing else to say about my baby, as always. its a definite feeling when u see him in the eye and he do it back and the clock stop ticking and hes smiling. he simply mesmerized me by his every inch, his every move and saying. having them as a family. even to reach myself as today this way is already a bless.
and, whats happened? um, i'll try to make it short. mviko quit his job and finally for the first time, we 3 stay together in a house, i guess its started at around june 2011. then we practically do this and that, every little things count. and yeah ok, its miracle that gets us survived. i think we kinda live in such alternative way. um, it might sounds somewhat cool, but trust me it just wasnt that fancy. then maybe due to some gradual changes happened to our life (me pregnant-newborn-breastfeeding-pms coming back-me as a mom-new enterpreneur-living together-and else i cant remember... see, too many changes and waves in a time is aint fancy) ...there were slight clashes, and crashes too :p well, new year feels like a breeze to me since then, its like "ok its new year, everything new a re allowed to happened, right about now..." hihihi... its been a kinda exhausting year before...
and the baby? wow. shaka boy reached a lot. umm... he's two and he can count until ten either in english or bahasa. now he's 25mos and he already understand the different between numbers and alphabets (finally). the 3 first colors he recognized is green, orange, purple,disregarding the yellow whose sooo oftenly come, so that i cant tell if he really recognize it or not. but now he already knew green, orange, purple, yellow, pink, blue, black... sometimes grey and white... without red -___- odd eh?! and then his 3 first songs are burung kakatua, tiktiktik bunyi hujan, cicak-cicak di dinding,... but now hes seems so fond in naik kereta api. his favorite creature fellow started by hippo, then the excavator... and it grows to truck, taxi, police car/ambulance, mixer, compactor and those big vehicles. and about a week ago he also made his 1st scientific question/statement. hes standing in the car back seat seeing the sky then say "the star, the moon, is walking, following shaka" ...i think, wow.
and by the way, after 2 years sailing here in this house, we will move in a very early march, next month. gotta move to another rent house. its pretty a while eh... ^^ and mviko is now again in distant, after like 6 months stay together here. i missed him. no matter how peace right now is, writing in the night, having my own schedule as i like, i want him here like always. even with any errands that could possibly happened. we 3 together are just too worth. i missed him. no matter what could possibly lay beneath. kinda hope he feels the same, even just a slightest. but anyway, may this bless works forever. may it be the greatest.