birthday boy notes compilation

Dec 29, 2019, Year 10
Despite of you're always be my baby, you were never really be like a baby to me. In this year 10, with you knowing almost all the choices, rules, anything bitter and sweet and bittersweet too, and me too, spending days with you seems a lot easier. If its not lovelier.

Easier, because you actually can already do 'you' in every way somehow. Because you actually recognized it already how the world, and me, going each day thoroughly. Because you actually have had yourself pretty much together, like i always tell you to, but never let you acknowledge. Well, actually its quite a lot im not letting you acknowledge yet. But then you acknowledge some just by yourself. And i see you have a pretty good grip over there :")

Your strength are my prides, and your flaws are my favorites, that i would be grateful over and over again. Grow as best baby, right on your lead.

Dec 29, 2020, Year 11
Shaka, 11 yo. Loves... anything diy, lifehacks, cardboards, pretty boxes, mixtapes, experiments... hoarding... no. exploring surface and materials. Probably cooking... well he loves anything crafty. and mostly related to weaponry... no. survival and defense... dont ask why 🙌 He goes big with idea, needs lot of works in the detail tho. Got to watch out that crash n burn mentality.

He loves too, the great outdoor. Playing dirts and rains. Companion here and there. Various kind of peoples amuse him. Such an all terrain kids inside out. He loves too, pokemon... I think they fill the gap of his weakness to animals 🙂 Its more like how to love animal without really have to touch them 101. But on that, hes improving.

He loves too ...acting bad. Am not saying hes that good. But um... he tends to exxagerate and brag about silly naughty annoying lowkey useless little things that he do. Yet he would only listen from some... few, of the best, from the top. The ones that of course surely wont buy any of every blah things that he do 😑 May he doesnt unnecessarily put himself in difficulties.

He loves to stock up things. Piles of saving. Just to be able to splurge it again carefreely for what or whom he's into. I have a mix feeling about this. 😅

Dec 29, 2021, Year 12

Dear my heartfelt boy,

May you capable of make things clear.

Not emotional, not rude, not confusing. Be honest, never sway, always.

Dont lie even when you cant say the truth, just say that you cant say.

Then embrace, always for good. Be the guy yourself would proud of.

May you find ways to lower your gaze.

It has the power to take you away from true bless of beauty.

Dont take it lightly, visual and looks does matter.

Be mindful with your desire, also put focus in the attitudes.

Good values are what will trully satisfy you in peace.

May you maintain good boundaries.

Be kind and polite to everyone, because thats what we do.

Bold and sweet personal gestures are meant to be special.

Dont be cheap on your words, it has consequences.

That way we're taking care of ourselves, and our loved ones too.

Dec 29, 2022, Year 13
Love is a strong word
But no word is stronger than the light inside you
to see the ultimate truth, clearly
and the guidance to find it, trully
and the courage to choose it, wholeheartedly
and the wisdom to do it, kindly
and the strength to live it, sincerely
Be ready to take off mas
Dont forget to be that awesome :)

Dec 29, 2023, Year 14

Let me tell u why,

Its because you're about to grow,

Becoming a good man,

whom your great little soul meant to be.

Let me tell u why,
Its because you're about to help peoples,
Contribute goodness,
to wherever your communities would be.

Let me tell u why,
Its because you're about to meet Allah SWT,
who always take a good care
no matter high and low could possibly be.

Let me tell u why,
Its because we love you,
And Allah loves us whole a lot more,
Paving us for the best, and the best only

Turn your light on,

in your heart,

and your hand,

on your shoulder,

beyond your mind.

part closure

Year 2020 started so messy. Heavy flood right on the day 1. And hashtag worldwar3 trending even before week 1. An iranian shia politician dead. One super power president, as his usual, made a happy statement over a tragedy. Then there were people swearing and a nuclear deal. Still we're not yet on point. Too many niches. While locally, people seems forget how to complain about things, and keep on offensing on personal matter. Too many hatred. Too many intrigues. Too many layers. Meanwhile, im just whining.

I dont mean to start negatively, but duuuudeeee..... #worldwar3 on day 3 ?!? Zzzzzz who needs fiction nowadays. 

(Just kissed my baby good night) ...of all conspiracy theory ive read, of all quran tafsir ive heard, of all vision ive had, of all dreams ive planned... i cant even tell what tomorrow, like literally tomorrow, will bring. And while im feeling so little here, im making a plan, for like almost a decade later. Investing this, renovating that. Education this, vacation that. Still i shower myself with all those information slash knowledge though. All that, maybe im just trying to keep myself busy. Questions are actually simple. Will we actually make it until next decade? As a person. As a nation. As citizen of the world. As a creation of The Almighty. I wonder if theres any point in what i do. But i did. That way, may it happened for good.

We human never not juggling between things, do we? Its a privilege, having a pause to notice how busy we are. Alhamdulillah.

My dear little man, in every layer of every era, in every path of every choice, in every moment of now and then, in every journey of every you, may you always find and walk your truest way back home to Allah SWT. This one not easy to even describe, really ...Al Fatihah. There you actually have it all, what im trying to tell.

Just later on, may you have the chance to have your journey through the whole quran... Sigh. This flawful me feels like crying reading my own pray. I dont know how, but really, may i too have the chance to have my journey throught the whole quran... Sometimes, it really is not easy even just to ask and pray. So many thing left unspoken ...May Allah SWT bless you always baby son, here, there, and ever after. For all those things that really matter, never give up. Amen.

otw double digit (part.2)

Hello my not so little bundle of joy, who is now does have a lot to say, i mean really say, like an opinion, or assumption, or conclusion.  Finally we're really working on your very own bedroom, aren't we? Phase 1 done last weekend by putting the door in your very own wardrobe. I spent weeks drawing and planning. Its a hobby, making lists. But recently i found out, its also a distraction. (Well duh, of course, that what a hobby is for).

Its a bit annoying sometimes, having you roaming at night in my bed. But its already been a solid 10 years for me. You're my little bundle of warmth, how could i not have you for more? I feel kinda jaded, imagining you sleeping unseen in another room. I found myself a bit anxious, getting annoyed once again. It really is a good thing having a hobby, really.

Go on kid, grow up, while im still tuned in. I hope i will always do. I cant say that im lost for words, because i already splurge a lot, just like you said, when i have something to say, its simply got to be long. That includes when i got to say, sometimes soon, i'll have it fixed. No more long talk (unless you ask). I would do it for good, you had enough. I hope too, i've said enough. Insyaallah.

Looking at you sleeping on a bed next to mine, i feel like running out of time. It almost feels like one of my privilege will be taken away. But go on kid, bring it, you definitely got this. I got this. May the rest will catch up for good. Insyaallah. Go on kid, grow up.

otw double digit (part.1)

Hello my little bundle of joy. You gets a lot heavier this year. A lot bigger. Taller. Bulkier. Sometimes to the point where your act looks way too cute for your looks, that it might turns sour. Even for yourself. Its that hard to be cool eh :)

Your palm are thickening. And so are your feet. I dont know if you know. I dont know if you know that i know. But they are now rougher than mine. I never mention, but it kinda like how reality knocks in my head. Inside my hug. My little bundle of joy not so little anymore.

It happens and i missed you already. I will always be your heartless spoiler mom giving overrated notes and codes. And you will grow. Through and through. That in my slight moment of pray i would wish, may all these time i bring you goodness, in anyway i could be.

I want you to be tough and strong. Yet i want you to stay tender and gentle. (But how do you get it without knowing how ugly real suffer is, i dont wanna think)

I want you to be smart and sharp. Yet  i want you to stay pure and naive. (How do you get it without knowing how urgent life crisis is, i dont wanna think)

I want you to be bright and passionate. Yet i want you to stay cheap and humble. (Tell me just, just how do you get it without knowing how savage a true love is, tell me not.)

I want you to simply shine. Yet i want you to always stay modest. (And it seems there is no way you get it without knowing how cliche the ultimate truth actually is, or yes way?)

Meanwhile, we're not really born for cliches, i know. I had a hard time processing all these... and so just like this writings, ive been thinking about these for months. This milestone is not just yours. Ive grown into a proud mother of a baby son this far, alhamdulillah. Now I got to have some other ultimate pray, youre about to become a man. Bismillahirrahmaanirahiim.

7 years and 7 months later

its true when they say reality will come and get you at year 7. the time when i lost count and missed the date to write milestones and everythings. the time when the stories are on its peak, that its actually really really literally (i said it over and over again like no other excuse i can tell) frustrating to start. new skills. school academics. social insight. peers. insight about ups and downs. money stuff. academic report. hobbies. preferance of activities. idolizing patterns. music hits. personal approach toward things. survival mechanism. flaws and weakness. etc etc.

i lost for words.

im not always easy. i become cold and distant in times. i can be quite heartless. you might know i dont mean to be rude, but i do show no mercy. im not much of sweet words. i do criticize. im not always logical. im a bit of heartwrecker. i do worry. yet im not much of technical. i could get you all drained and damp. i dont demand. but i could be the weight on your shoulder. yet i might not cooperate. i dont explain well. but still a lot that i want to say. i dont easily choose to be easy. i used to leave it for you to choose. and i dont make it easy.

they're kinda coming your way, aren't they?

i know how you like compliments and appreciations. i know how you always want to make me proud. i know you desperately wanting to nail everything i hand you to. i know how youre getting happy when i looked happy. i know how its frustrated you when you think youre frustrating me. i know when youre getting tired of my emotional me. i know too how you feel relieved when that emotional me gone. i know you just want to hug me and be a baby peacefully, and in the same time i know. you also want to gain powers and everything to take care of me and make sure everything will be safe and sound. i could figure all that. like somehow i just wish that you undoubtly know all these, like always.

because that, i might be lack of anyway. 

baby, you will always be my favorite person. you are. your strength are the coolest, your flaws are the cutest. you could be so annoying and clingy. sometimes youre so stubborn and bossy. but your mind does stands out, and peoples do notice your heart. your peoples, you bring them together. you make them shines, and you're never be outshined. never actually once, you bring me down. so far your flaws of all flaws existed, are my favorite ones that i could actually tolerate. as your eyes stubbornly sparkling, and your smile unconsciously surfacing, i hope that you will always remember. you have it all in you, goodness. just never give up trying, and believing.

that you are never alone, and never will. 

you are 7, and i feel like i cant tell reality any lighter :) dear shaka trah semesta, my little blink of the universe, you are nothing less than an ultimate bless to me. and no matter how little we always are, we have nothing less than the ultimate love and protection. it's not always about reality, not to mention which one. go rooting, some wandering, know your creator, get yourself together, be a whole, do good, find truth. Don't bother with happiness, they're always just around the corner :) you are blessed, we are.

it's always about faith, there goes reality, like i love you.

.

.

.

Al Fatihah

cicilan akhir tahun (yang tertunda)

since lil man born 7 years ago, life seems always reset every december :) the only month in a year that never i forget to do some reflection, or make some list of milestones for least. so here i am again, trying to update a very long while along this year.
.
.
.
.


then it just stopped right there, 2 months ago -__- but not in my head. just now its already too much to update, and i only have one hour to resume. so lets just drill down the schedule. first thing first.
seperti al fatihah setelah sholat. when you dont know where to start.
.
.
.
.

Jadwal Shaka, 7 tahun

SENIN
06.00 gedabrukan pagi, terutama senin pertama setiap bulannya, karena ada upacara.
07.30 berangkat sekolah, atau setengah jam sebelumnya kalau pas upacara. dan nggak gedabrukan.
15.00 waktu rata-rata jemput pulang sekolah, langsung meluncur BXC, snack time before all
15.30 hang out di rockstar, atau belajar persiapan kalau ada assesment di rotiO atau spot sepi
16.50 siap masuk kelas futsal academy w/ coach rizal
18.30 bubar, langsung pulang dan makan, di bxc kalo di rumah tampak rempong 
19.45 sudah di rumah, selesai makan, santai di sofa
20.00 mandi net not, cuddling sebentar, bobo

SELASA
06.30 persiapan berangkat sekolah
07.30 berangkat sekolah
15.20 waktu rata-rata jemput pulang sekolah, langsung meluncur BXC, snack di jalan
16.00 berenang level 1 w/ coach victor
17.00 bubar dan laper, mari jajan (atau dinner kalo ga masak) ..lalu pulang
17.30 sampai rumah, main random kalo masih terang atau santai di sofa
19.00 selesai santai atau makan malem, naik ke atas, mandi
19.30 belajar santai
20.30 cuddling, bobo

RABU
06.30 persiapan berangkat sekolah
07.30 berangkat sekolah
15.45 waktu rata-rata jemput pulang sekolah, langsung pulang
16.30 main keluar rumah
17.00 main selesai, roaming aja randoman
18.00 makan malem, mandi
19.00 belajar nggak santai (supposedly)
21.00 (or about 1 hour more kalo lagi jadwal assesment on fire) bobo, sekitar 2 menit setelah buku ditutup

KAMIS
06.30 persiapan berangkat sekolah
07.30 berangkat sekolah
15.00 waktu rata-rata jemput pulang sekolah, langsung pulang
15.30 snack time apa aja yang ada di rumah
16.30 main keluar rumah
17.00 main selesai, roaming aja randoman
18.00 makan malem, mandi
19.00 belajar nggak santai (supposedly)
21.00 (or about 1 hour more kalo lagi jadwal assesment on fire) bobo, sekitar 2 menit setelah buku ditutup

JUMAT 

06.30 persiapan berangkat sekolah
07.30 berangkat sekolah
12.20 waktu rata-rata jemput pulang sekolah, seringnya langsung BXC
13.00 makan siang, atau snack berat
14.00 kelas basket w/ coach matther
15.00 snack berat tahap 2, atau roaming aja sesuai keperluan
16.00 berenang level 1 w/ coach victor
17.00 taekwondo belt kuning w/ coach edy
18.00 snack berat tahap 3, atau makan malam sekalian, seringnya di BXC, mamapun tak sanggup lanjut on di rumah
19.30 sampai rumah, roaming santai-santai
20.30 mandi, langsung bobo... atau mundur semua sekitar 1 jam

SABTU
zzzzzZ
Roaming
15.00 kelas futsal w/ coach El
16.00 tennis academy w/ coach Fadli
Roaming 
ZZZzzzzzZ

MINGGU
Roaming seharian sampai sore
18.00 makan malam, mandi
19.00 school night routines, most likely

shaka, age 6

loves Octonauts,  Peppa Pig, and Ben and Holly.
but always says that he's fan of Ninjago and Ben 10, for the sake of coolness.

has Mixel lego creature in his wishlist for a year.
but when its time to buy, always falling for Korean cute-tech savvy vehicle-robot like Superwings.

loves Transformers literally because it can transform.
then he creates anything that transform while in imaginary-playing.

having his first robot toy and so happy about it.

dislike minions.
doc mcstuffin is a guilty pleasure.

his girlfriends say he is cute.
he says back grumpily, "no i'm cool!"
then the girl will even go crazier.

has cried watching a movie for the first time, A Good Dinosaur.
cry like a river, and the gloomy thought remaining for days.

got over Sammie ToysRUs channel.
big fan of Evantube HD channel.
cant get enough of VAT19.com
......imaginarily having his page at shaka/vat19.com
.......that's how he put his mark on some papers or walls

don't want monotonous order in a restaurant
"nanti aja liat dulu dong di restorannya ada apa"
and he keeps end up in good old chicken steak, chicken rice, nasi lele, or mi ayam.

demanding for his own adult-style, no, man-style wallet.
he got it, so happy about it, very possesive about it.

waiting his tooth falling out.
means he's growing up and its so cool.
means tooth fairy can exchange it for some money for his wallet.

like to keep his hair long.
want to have pimples.
keep losing his flipflops.
like to have his tops tucked in his pants.

loves subject science, PE, IT
always get challenged by math quizzes.

have many places int he world he wanted to visit.

that keeps him love learning and schooling.

desperately wanna grow up.
but want to stay with mommy forever.
willing to buy a land near this home of ours
so when he has to move out he will live near still

believe that papi can do everything.
i'm still failing to explain that it's not true.

keep drawing anything with rainbow.
all titled with "Its A Beautiful Day"
he always put the color in correct order.
start to mention about finding treasure in the end of the rainbow.

value his go-to-bed prayer so much.

when im not around, he yells
"mama, bismika-nya berapa kali? 1 apa 3 apa 5?"
"...3 aja deh kayak biasa ya"
"kalo kata Allah bilangnya apa?"
"........." 

when half asleep already, he whispers
"mama, shaka di-bismillah-in..."

well.......i always do, kid. 
i always do.

when december comes

time to update milestones :)

firstly first about the house, i finally decided to put it only in tumblr. too lazy to put here in a blog post. the progress mainly are at the backyard ...or at least that is how the kid call it, some small open space at the back part of the house. then the lightings, kitchen table and backsplash, drainage, ...well a  lot of little random here and there waiting to be finalized actually. cant imagine what progress could be done in 2 weeks, but... we actually planned an open house by the end of this year XD HA!  

that was around time and when that little kid of mine hit 6. i said there will be no 'party', like some diy decors or goody bag, but insyaallah we will still invite friends and families. the schedule will be more like 'selametan' :) berdoa. slash housewarming (party). double slash open house, because actually i still have no idea about partying at this kind of tight schedule time. some papi's deadline also in this month, and i am too preparing mid-year class party at school... preparing like, responsible for the decor wholly. semacam kurang kerjaan, tapi gimana lagi, kalo udh dapet job desc anaknya all-out. hahahah,... so again just like another december, i am busy with diy-project and printable design XD wish me luck. no, wish us luck. not yet new year but so many target already for 3 of us. alhamdulillah...

as for the kid, he is too definitely actually has target. cheap one, but pretty real actually. specially at catching up english score to excel the passing grade XD just got back from parent-teacher conference a.k.a rapotan this morning. just like figured, his reading-writing skill still become his obstacle. hmmm welll... he can read, but not really. words just don't come easily yet. so of course it will be hard to comprehend still. and he can write, but still on invented writing, aka phonic based only, that surely will fail his english subject. figuratively i know, its normal. i already checked his milestones, and read articles about his age and those skills. He's basicly doing just fine, and anyhow he's the youngest in the class. december born, remember. but, without any intention to comparing to his friends and excusing his age, it just feels not right to just say, "ah it's ok" :) 

that's just not what some best efforts can do. and giving best efforts is one of what we value in the family. i've been delaying reading course for a year by now by the way. his progress anyhow is very good. right about last year he cannot read, and can write his name only. now he can read mini books with companion (just to keep him steady and consistent), and start to comprehend slowly. now too, he can write stories, like about 5 sentences long, although still in invented spelling. 

"he hes 20 appl s. he its 8. he kennot it sum more"

cute ya :) im so glad i still able to see cuteness in it anyway. but well, gotta move on baby. we've chosen the educational track, we have to adapt, and we have to give our best efforts. hello integrity and content ! to be honest, there's a bit of me says hooray knowing that he's still lack of appraisal sense. hahaa yes i am actually still trying to put efforts carefully regarding those value and age milestones. we always are. so the thrilling scores are actually part of the struggle. i always say, wait until he's 6. wait until term 4. ala ala tes ombak. HA! XD fingercrossed sampe naik kelas.

by the end of this month he will be 6. im so glad seeing him still as brilliant as he used to be. may he will always have those sparkly eyes of spirits and curiosity ....errr sama bolehlah, kalo reading readyness nya dateng cepetan XD sekarang udah mulai ngasih prolog tentang phonics extra classes nih, alias les baca. hahahahahh soalnya assesmentnya sekarang banyakan paper nak... kalo ujiannya presentasi semua, gak usah belajar juga masi optimis deh dapet full score, kan rugi bandarrrr. stay strong baby, your readyness will catch up! and for the rest... as usual i have faith in you undoubtedly :) i always do. 

be always happy and never forget that you are awesome already.
stay curious and always remember Allah, the ultimate one.
never give up to be all out and sincere.
and one more... be kind and believe me, it's cool :D

i read in an article, sometimes soon not only his first tooth will fall out, he's imagination dreamland will start to fade out too in this age. and yes things do get more realistic as he entered elementary. he was at the highest level of baby last year. now he's like in the first new phase of big kid :) not that it was scary, but good luck kid, my forever baby. may you have your journey safe and sound.

XOXO

hello checkpoint(s) part.1

welcome life of a first grader (mom) :D 
now its getting harder to list down milestones, as i myself must catching up with the lesson too. the new class was started last end of july. giddy up!

no no, baca tulis tetep belum lancar. meskipun muatan kurikulum (katanya) banyak (dan berat), baca tulis shaka belum lancar. semua huruf (in english) udah bisa, phonics, pronounce dan lettering. huruf bahasa Indonesia masih on progress :p masih suka lupa terutama antara A, E, I. spelling hmmm so-so lah... tapi mostly udah bisa baca kata per kata dalam bahasa dan english, terutama yg penulisan sama pengucapannya sama. karena bingung  juga ya ngajarinnya secara fase baca tulisnya beda sama jaman kecil dulu.... skrg karena sebenernya semua elemennya udah ready, katanya sih udah tinggal fase drilling baca cerita terus aja (semacam menunggu pencerahan xD) mungkin biar gak keburu gentar liat tulisan berbaris-baris. hahahaha... it will just come when the time it comes :) amen.

pelajarannyaaa.... ya lumayan. hahahaha. saat ini lagi musim assesment ke 2 untuk mata pelajaran utama, math, science, bahasa, english, mandarin. gimana kalo dibandingin sama jaman kecil dulu? hmmm. yang pasti memang muatannya lebih banyak, sehingga (kalo sadar) memang tampak lebih susah. tapi yang pasti juga, flow-nya beda. nggak usahlah disebutkan kalo tentang format materialnya atau buku atau tipe tugasnya yang jelas-jelas beda ya.... tapi flow-nya memang beda. 

rasanya sangat mungkin dari segitu banyaknya muatan yang dikasih, anak-anak cuma berasa seperti sekadar dapet ilmu baru seiring dia tumbuh besar. hmmm... gimana ya, meskipun banyak, dan mendalam, imho muatannya bersentuhan banget sama kehidupan sehari-hari. misal di english dan bahasa terutama muatannya untuk bercerita, presentasi, komunikasi, mengarang, reading comprehension. di science tentang anggota tubuh dan fungsi, jenis makanan dan fungsinya. di math masih seputar tambah kurang... tapii segala gaya. sampe 3 chapter juga belum selesai materinya. mandarin.... masih no clue lah, sampe sekarang satu-satunya cara belajar yang paling efektif adalah... minta tolong anaknya bacain, tunjukin, dan ajarin mamanya apa yang dia dapet di sekolah hahahaha... intinya lagi sih, semakin susah kalo mau sembarangan marah-marah dan ngasih tau tanpa dasar.

"shaka, you have to finish that egg, you need energy for school!"   
"no its not giving me energy! it makes me grow!!!"
*dikutip dari drama huru-hara pagi-pagi

Sort of things... yang disyukuri adalah assesment nya lahir batin (iya lah, dari awal juga maunya kurikulum yang nggak gagap realita kan hihihi) nggak selalu writing... jadi shaka yang masih ogah baca instruction masih lumayan selamat, meski bikin KZL dan semacam mubazir belajar. secara konsep dan substansi, insyaallah he nailed it. moga-moga segera bisa catch up aja untuk aplikasi baca tulisnya... biar nggak usah ada tambahan les calis. biar bisa les yang enak-enak aja. biar momen pencerahan baca tulisnya dateng natural aja :) for the greatness in books and reading. me love good reads. that fuzzy feeling just too worthy to be missed. 

yang disyukuri juga adalah, senyum paginya setiap hari waktu masuk gate sekolah :) teriak panggil-panggil nama temen yang ajaib-ajaib. cengar-cengir ga ngeh pentingnya assesment atau lagi sampe chapter berapa, atau sebanyak apa homeworknya, atau apalah itu yang memang sengaja masih kita delay untuk drilling artinya, mostly segala hal yang sifatnya formal dan official itu. sampai sekarang drillingnya masih tetep seputar --must try to be as best as possible for like every moment. must practice again and again this and that. to finish what's been started. to do every little things wholeheartedly. jadi terutama memang masih seputar disiplin membangun rutinitas dan sikap belajar. terlepas dari kurang lebihnya, moga-moga bisa membawa kebaikan, we'll keep improving ya boy. one (or two or three lah :p) step at a time. mama papa juga sambil belajar. here we also are in our way trying as best as possible, make way for your education life :) bismillah.  
  
yang disyukuri juga adalah, homeworks nggak terasa berat. karena anaknya udah tau sendiri harus dikerjain, ngingetin terus mau kerjain, just like naturally :) rekornya adalah terakhir math homeworks 8 lembar, sekitar 3 jam, dijeda makan malam. no, its not so easy (or very fun). no, its not like he nailed it already. its just us doing it step by step wholeheartedly, dan ditutup dengan senyum puas (i know he did satisfy). Tapi kalau homeworks, ternyata nggak (atau belum) terlalu banyak kok, sejauh ini porsinya (dan manfaatnya) masih terasa pas. Memang masih harus ditemenin, tapi rasanya dibandingin sama hal-hal yang dikerjain mama-mama lain dan anaknya di sekolah kayaknyaaa, apalah aku ini hanyalah kucing (kece) diantara macan xD Sehingga kemudian jadwal pulang yang semakin sore, bisa dibilang adalah hal terkecil dari ritme baru ini. masih ada juga jadwal les yang udah antri ='D 

it sounds like all sunny and rainbows eh :D NOT! hahahaaha... i thanked God for no storm coming so far, but series of cloudy grey. and errr... maybe some haze xD hmmm... gini deh ya, ngecek jotterbook untuk dictation pertama salah semua itu rasanya nggak ada apa-apanya dibanding tau ada murid lain yang bahkan latihannya udah excelled sama dictation ketiga. kemudian pas cek medan perang untuk besok ada assesment, ternyata lagi pada review ini itu, segala presentasi juga pake rehearsal dulu di rumah sampe malem-malem. sementara disini anaknya udah otw bobo, kelar jam belajar sesuai paket jadwal harian (semacam itulah). itu rasaanya........ menggodaaaaa banget untuk ikut on fire lagi. haruuuus banget mencoba sabar untuk stick with the plan of keep doing things wholeheartedly-as best as possible-in certain times. having faith not to gain things instantly. FYUH! we seriously do some strategy-coordination-enhancement meeting about those values every now and then. sort of things lah x"D hahahaha.... just gotta stay strong. need to gain my very own kind of tiger mom. pun belom ketemu temen yang agak sealiran deh nih di sekolahan.... semacam udah yang paling oke aja. nggak deng, paling muda. Hahahaha... satu gen Y diantara gen X yang pasti. hihihi fingercrossed aja deh yaaa.

but still, and always, have fun baby :)
of all that, we really really do have fun being your parents.

pacaran

we were in a foodcourt waiting for your lunch, when one friendly college girl come to our table. she was from your almamater so i let her explain about some fundraising something, until the food is come. the highlight next is as i predicted :)

s- ma itu kakaknya udah kuliah? bener?
m- iya, kenapa? *grin
s- jadi udah punya pacar...?
*nyengir antara excited, malu, sama penasaran

if this was my first cue, i will be somewhat panicked i believe. but this was not. my first cue is few weeks back when i clean up around while watching you watching tv. it was even only one child-ish romantic scene in a cartoon, before then you turn your head with big smile and sparkly eyes, and say rightaway "mama, shaka mau cepet kuliah deh"

wait....... no, thats not actually the very first cue. its been going on these few last months probably. about liking a girl, getting into primary, growing up, tv channel upgraded, no more bright adventurous disney junior, welcome sloppy geeks disney channel or cool kidsheroes from disney xd. the transition is yes going on although im still trying my best to delay it by filtering movies and others.... and that pacaran-jokes people always throw *ugh* forcing kids like growing older than they actually are.

homeworks for mom are lined up. once i ever explained short and simple and easy about pacaran; is like happened when some couple already grown up like in college and about to get married. well because we the parents met in college, just cant fake it. all in all its been said that it must happen when both party already grown up once again, settled with oneselves... but it seems now i got to make it even clearer, so you dont just jump over conclusions eh. parents homeworks do line up. coupling. timing. feeling... not to mention about finding the one *double ugh*.

back to his first actual initiation, "mama, shaka pengen cepet kuliah". i kinda yawned, trying to look just cool and easy. because they say theres nothing good about over reacting. but well, then i began to put the idea about how fun being kids, the advantages and else, in like every chance i met. including that time when we're lounging in the foodcourt.

we watched peoples skating on the ice rink. he never try, it makes him excited. he asked if i can play. then i say i used to be able, but when i was a kid. dont know if i can still do it now when im adult, got to try again. because adult doesnt play nor skating that much. adult is busy with things, works, and else... and kids on the contrary can have so many fun things to do, to play :) i got you baby. moments like that do happen, when you say bright and clear, "then no i dont wanna grow up mama". yeah until reality knocked, and lets go back to the college girl coming. haha.

boy, pacaran is not suddenly happen when you entering college. not every people in college, not even every adult, pacaran. or luckily finding the one, that will be another chapter yes. i dont even wanna mention (yet) that some (many) kids from highschool, middle school, even primary school (ugh) do pacaran. still, i keep my words for the ground base. pacaran meant to be grown ups who like (love) each other and already settled with themselves and about to get married. later i believe me (or you) will improvise. again, on another chapter. haha. i believe in improvisation as much as i believe in pattern guidelines.

btw i actually already have one guideline draft about some wife material HAHAHA i develop it from some list on pinterest. but come into this actual moment for having words to tell, i feel like im done with references. i have my very own words. it might not go straight into wife material, but i think its already on the way. well, like we always are. one thing may lead to another. lets just take our time :)

Just be friend first, be a good one :) be with someone you actually attracted to. be with someone you would appreciate and appreciate you back. be with someone you would respect and respect you back. be with someone kind and motivate you to be even kinder. Someone you can always be yourself with, and if you are lucky, together you will make the best version of yourselves :) be with someone you can always laugh with. that someone who has the ability to laugh happily about themselves and all the little things around, not towards others. Most importantly, be with someone you feel peace together with :) wherever, whenever, with whoever.

Meanwhile love is more about lifelong work and commitment. Thats how we always have to involve Allah, The Most Loving, The most Giving. I still cant say much about it, but start with always be true to yourself and Him, then love will find a way anyway. Bless you baby :) Bismillah.

wishfulthinking

am still thinking about what i could wish and pray for my son's birthday. and of all his ups and downs lately, i really cant find a special spot left for me to fulfill. yes maybe its the mom-thing that i could always find the goods of all his trait and else. but at least for this moment, if theres really anything urgent enough for a miraculous wish. its not upon him.

we the parents, need it a lot more this time :) sorry kid. this year wishes, go to us. why? because we pray specially for you everyday already anyway. why us? because we are yours anyway. why again? because you actually are already a perfect complete whole.

supaya mama papa selalu dan semakin sabar untuk melihat dan mendengar. selalu dan semakin bijak untuk bicara dan bertindak. selalu dan semakin manis untuk menenangkan dan menyenangkan. selalu dan semakin hangat untuk tempat pulang dan berkembang. selalu dan semakin kuat untuk menjaga dan terjaga. hati dan pikiran. ucapan dan perbuatan. supaya selalu penuh hormat dan kasih sayang. dengan keberanian dan ketulusan. di dalam kebenaran dan kebaikan. senantiasa dekat dan bersama-sama Allah SWT. 

of all the goods and bads, may us being the best and most compatible mother-father to you dear kiddo. that is how in the end, may it all coming back to you :) love is a strong word. i just hope its strong enough to fulfill this wish for you. 

welcoming 5 years old kid

good morning my soon-no longer-a baby kid. my all time favorite boy. my number one in the world :) selamat pagi mas...

before you entering the age of start remembering (i assumed), there are certain things id like to tell. things id wish you to know. things for least i need to deliver :)

your father and your mother arent the very best people in the world. we arent even the most adorable person, as you may think so :) we have flaws, so many. we make mistakes, so often. we hate and hurt people, in a particular sometimes... 

your father and your mother arent always the most wise and know-it-all. we most of the times, are just trying to figure out things :) things to do with us, with you, with other peoples, the world. we most of the times are just praying and working, for things to work out, right and good, as smooth as possible.

yes, those might sounds uneasy. but no matter what the truth is, thats actually not my point. the thing is, that no matter what, still you will always have us. even in a gazillion stars distance, or in a tiniest piece of rain second, or in a darkest blindness of moment, or even in a flaming hell of a bursting anger. you will always have us. or in simpler way, we are actually yours.

then come the second thing. that you are actually way moooore beyond all that. since the very beginning to the very last, you will always have your own, Shaka Trah Semesta :) well, we dont name you after ours. and if its happened, naming you after something, its the universe. but no, its not about how huge it is. its even actually about only a blink of eye. time when you have to get back to your inner self. that you already have it all within yourself. your universe. its about faith :) 

“Inama Amruhu Idza Arada Sya’ian An Yaqula Lahu Kun Fayakun” (QS. Yasin: 82).

your father and your mother arent the most noble and religious person. its kinda unnecesarry to tell our belief assumed :) but all we know is that Allah SWT been so kind to us. like all the time. fulfilling every slit and slot of our life. and its been ultimately genius and wonderfully crafted. there how i know that Allah SWT love us. like so much. and never stop. no matter what. and these all, includes you. its so magical that how can we not love back.

life is good, mas. we will always around. Allah will always with you. and more than anything, you will actually always have yourself. do love, and things will find a way.
to be true, to be kind, to be good, to be happy. 

we all love you, infinity times infinity.

year of a blast

this year seems like a blast :) in so many way. not saying things were all pretty and smooth, but each of it is countful. what i've been through are days of dazzling and dynamics set of activities. 

dreams were raising up

realistic goals to be pursuit

bunch of new friends and peers

they are all lovely yet easy

passions were recalling

imagination clearly setting up

new cool chores are awaiting

life is moving taking me in

dearest families lay around the corner

world is becoming more make sense

and as i turn around still i see them cuddly

within the smell and warmth i would always miss

juli lalu shaka resmi TK A :) sekolahnya pagi, jam 8-11.30. mandarin seminggu 3x, sand box time seminggu sekali, masuk gerbang sekolah sendiri, keluar sekolah sendiri, antri satu-satu, toilet time sendiri pada waktu yg ditentukan, mulai ada rewards and specially punishment, guru dan temen sekelas yg sama selama setahun, goal bukan lagi cuma mengerti topik dan bisa jawab pertanyaan, tapi juga berpartisipasi dan berpendapat.

secara umum...... tambah pecicilan. banget. yg agak menghibur adalah pertanyaannya juga ikut semakin canggih. perhatian dan ketertarikan sama sistem mekanikal, per-angka-an, pola (kategori science mungkin?) dan main ngobrol sama orang-orang baru terutama kakak2 yg lbh besar, ngajak kenalan orang di mana-mana, mingle di lingkungan baru (kategori sosial?) dua itu keliatan sekali progressnya :D selain itu juga tampak mulai mengerti pentingnya menahan diri. kalau marah, tidak suka, sedih, rules, restriction. mulai bukan balita lagi. mulai jadi anak-anak. laki-laki. 

 

he will be 5 by the end of this year though. then, not to mention how well he does it (which is ...lets say we definitely are proud parents) but most importantly, he loves it! Hope he keeps improving and grows more enthusiasm. and may there always innate a kind and sincere heart :)

there is another big thing. later i think i would have a longer version to tell. not a very easy nor pretty one actually. but lets just have faith :)

this august itself by the way, is not another big thing. our 6th anniversary. me with the man of no sweet words but an ultimate guidance and companion :) love and whatever good it is, may it is mutual, for eternal. its not another big thing. its the thing :)

dear sunshine

being (trying) not very chatty lately,

i found this song is perfect for your 4th birthday back then. 

hihi. your lullaby, our song, eternally.

you are my sunshine

my only sunshine

you make me happy

when skies are grey

you never know dear

how much i love you

please dont take

my sunshine away

baby, all you gotta do is shine ^^

coolness

"kece" is your favorite word lately dear baby. you asked me almost everytime we're putting up an outfit. now let me tell you something about it, coolness. which even sounds better that way ;)

we, women, always have those cliche 3B, beauty, brain, behaviour. me, believe those 3 would come together, evenly. have brain, work your behavior, and you're gonna look good. 

coolness? it works beyond that. you should able to embrace it all. embrace all that you do, all that you think, all that you feel, all that you are, include yourself embracing it. once you coped with them all, trust me, people will see you're the coolest.

but we ourselves, just tend to never had enough, don't we :) even after all those coolness. perhaps, just perhaps, those are not the things that really matter.

look at you now, how much you count on your father, how much you admire your kakung, how much you lean on your eyang, how much you have fun with oma, how much coolnesses they show and bring to you.

let me reveal my version how. your father,  he's so great at solving problems and taking care of you, us. kakung, is a great adventurer. he seems like knowing all the route to wherever even the slightest, even here in our neighbourhood, not his. and never once, he's forgetting you. eyang, is the most charming of all, even when she did nothing. It really isnt something easy let me tell you, it takes a super power to gather a woman-self that way. oma, such a strong child-like woman that you could just never get bored of. no one can beat her intellectuality to amuse you with even only silly little things. in fact, no one seems able to beat their coolnesses to you. ummm maybe me HAHAHA but im your mother, already am the ultimate coolest of all anyway, am i not xD you tell me kid

fu kecil mau 3 taun

Menjelang pesta pertama ^^ ulang taun ketiga si bocah, shaka, tole, shaktol, shaktong, martongtong, sayangnya mama yang nomer satu sedunia raya itu...

Selain dari persiapan pesta yg termasuk kategori super niat utk ukuran mamanya yg gak hobi pesta2an apalagi jd tuan pesta, ada lah yg lain lagi. Insyaallah adalah, bahan jualan yg lain, yg secara tidak langsung akan launching bareng pestanya. I'm now calling it {et.si.tect]

Ya begitulah, sekalinya pesta harus worth it kiri kanan depan belakang atas bawah. Bukan karena gak mau rugi ya fu kecil, cuma supaya mamanya ini lbh pemberani dan tangguh aja nemuin tamu ^.^ as professional.

Jadi udah bisa apa aja yg mau ulang taunan? Banyak pastinya. Kan nomer satu sedunia raya.
Udah bisa berhitung satu-sepuluh dan one-thirteen. Dan mengenali angkanya jg 1-10. Dan mulai aware angka sampe seputaran twenty, 20.
Udah mengenali sebagian besar huruf dlm bahasa enggrees tapi. Yg suka lupa adalah antara 'i' dan 'y', sama yg jarang2 mcm d, f, q, x, dan utk huruf 't' sering disebut mama. Krn mama inisialnya 't' dari tika ^.^
Warna dalam bahasa tentu udah bisa semua. Dlm bhs inggris dlm sebulan terakhir sekolah udah bisa green blue red yellow, sama tau tp suka lupa purple white black...
Perkembangan bahasa inggrisnya jg tampak lumayan, dan trnyt cepet jg. School helps a lot. Skrg udh biasa pake frase 2 kata adjective-objective. Sama daily conversation tampak udh familiar jg.
Mungkin krn sekolah jg, keliatannya si skrg jd agak mau lbh terbuka sama orang lain, khususnya orang baru. Karena sebulan ini sdh sekolah sendiriii \(^_^)/ kelas terakhirnya, udh jalan sendiri masuk kelas sambil manyun, sedikit jeritan nangis anyel, dan udah. Cengengesan aja smp pulang, ketemu di luar kelas. Meskipun masih pe-er utk motivating di pagi hari sebelum berangkat. Hihihi...
Secara fisiiiik, belum ngukur lg. Nanti ya, rencana mau checkup lg segera kok. Tp keliatannya si skrg jd lbh sekel, dan ukuran baju tampak mulai lebih relevan sama umur.
New favorite food? Stroberi tetep, spaghetti tetep, pizza tetep, vitamin, scotts, madu, yupi, lolipop, dan tentu saja aneka kripik pake mecin. Coklat sm es krim ga terlalu hobi. Yg terakhir itu masih di banned si, takut ketagihan, penyakit menurun itu. Hihihi...
Trus udah tau kebanyakan nama alat berat, exca, loader, crane, forklift, kompektor, sheepfoot, grader, lowboy, mixer, driller, traktor, dozer, dan bbrp nama mobil yg bentuknya spesifik, dan mengenali mobil jerman. Kayaknya si semua hafalannya berdasarkan detail bentuk.
Peka pengaturan icon, detail kendaraan, tapi mamanya gonta-ganti wallpaper ipod gak pernah dinotice -___-
Kosa kata udah nggak bisa dicatet lagi si. Krn sekarang sdg sangat ceriwis. Bisa bawel dan ngeyel kalo dimarahin atau dikasitau. But it sometimes helps si, utk ngingetin spy sabar. Because yes, child does imitate, very easily.

"Jangan marah mama, jangan..."
"Kok shaka ditarik siii"
"Jangan gitu mama, jangan..."
"Shaka badannya nggak enak ni..."
"Shaka sumuk ni, harusnya mandi.."
"Shaka udah bau ni, harusnya cawik.."
"Disini sumuk, lengket, harusnya di kamar aja..."
"Oo ya ya ya ya"
"Mau apa kita?"
"Skrg mau apa?" Makan "habis itu?" Mandi "habis itu?" Santai2 "habis itu?" Bobo... Dst. Modusnya nunggu dibilang mau ke mall/supermarket, dan atau waspada sama jadwal sekolah.
"Udah gelap, sekolahnya udah tutup?" Dan kemudian cengengesan lega.
Bahahahahahaha

Yang pasti, mamanya udh pingin mbak baru....
:D