maybe this will be a sad
post. maybe.
about last year. one year before now... okay, lets loose a bit, make it two, maximum. i was feeling very gracefully good, that everything seems so gracefully good for a living. Here, i meant, as a world citizen, as a moslem, as a mother, as a wife, even as part of this nation. disregarding the corruption, unreliable goverment, mind-blowing conspiracy theory, and foolish tv shows, i do feel like i have faith here, within the society, our peoples. after years of willing, learning, and waiting, i feel like i have every reason to wear hijab. it grows in me. then i do. really, Allah SWT make it easy for me. alhamdulillah.
not being all holy and glory, i also do the count in my journey into hijabi. my peak time of a woman/mother/wife, my dearest circles, my providing accounts, even my surrounding situations which i dont want it to be too 'pretentious' at anything at all. i remember myself saying gracefully about how nowadays ambience was generally so good for the growth of good peoples, including for moslem woman wearing hijab. social acceptance, neutral perspective, indifferent profiles, those shallow things works for good. my countings came to an end. really, Allah SWT make it easy for me. alhamdulillah.
turned out, it was really such a slight time of a moment. looking at nowadays today, i feel so blessed to had that moment back then. now all the fundamental things of living all have resurfaced awfully. news and opinions about religion, gender, race, nation, humanism, crime, politics, fantasy, conspiracy, alls gone savages. then thanks to social media, its blown up like crazy. now its kinda harder to love religious peoples, even for no matter what the religion. then its also kinda awkward to count on a certain hometown, or to simply look up for some great stranger, or just to be wholly excited at some good breaking news. everything seems pretentious, it makes us (or at least me) tend to be more cautious. yes im a skeptical person for most of the times, but lately, even its being a bore. i'd rather do the opposite way, trying to find bits of a pure good truth, some hope.
about last year. one year before now... okay, lets loose a bit, make it two, maximum. i was feeling very gracefully good, that everything seems so gracefully good for a living. Here, i meant, as a world citizen, as a moslem, as a mother, as a wife, even as part of this nation. disregarding the corruption, unreliable goverment, mind-blowing conspiracy theory, and foolish tv shows, i do feel like i have faith here, within the society, our peoples. after years of willing, learning, and waiting, i feel like i have every reason to wear hijab. it grows in me. then i do. really, Allah SWT make it easy for me. alhamdulillah.
not being all holy and glory, i also do the count in my journey into hijabi. my peak time of a woman/mother/wife, my dearest circles, my providing accounts, even my surrounding situations which i dont want it to be too 'pretentious' at anything at all. i remember myself saying gracefully about how nowadays ambience was generally so good for the growth of good peoples, including for moslem woman wearing hijab. social acceptance, neutral perspective, indifferent profiles, those shallow things works for good. my countings came to an end. really, Allah SWT make it easy for me. alhamdulillah.
turned out, it was really such a slight time of a moment. looking at nowadays today, i feel so blessed to had that moment back then. now all the fundamental things of living all have resurfaced awfully. news and opinions about religion, gender, race, nation, humanism, crime, politics, fantasy, conspiracy, alls gone savages. then thanks to social media, its blown up like crazy. now its kinda harder to love religious peoples, even for no matter what the religion. then its also kinda awkward to count on a certain hometown, or to simply look up for some great stranger, or just to be wholly excited at some good breaking news. everything seems pretentious, it makes us (or at least me) tend to be more cautious. yes im a skeptical person for most of the times, but lately, even its being a bore. i'd rather do the opposite way, trying to find bits of a pure good truth, some hope.
i'm so relieved that i took that chance in that slight of time turned me into one newbie hijabi. not that i
convinced that i am now already that much of a better person by taking the
momentum. its just that, i see somehow theres a high chance it did keep me away from getting
derailed even further. insyaallah. or for least lets say, if i did not, i wouldnt know if i
will have the courage to start this year or when is that. things are too much of blurry right now.
it might be the world. it might be just me. but i do wish i could have again silly sarcastic politic jokes with my christian friends. i wish i could mesmerized over some adorable thin eyes and sassy attitudes of those chinese toddlers. i wish i could discuss (any) religion topics deeply and openly with my fellow friends. all without certain judgements or pretention or silly awkwardness for being cautious, just in case if i could end up hurting or being insensitive. yes, okay, it might be just me, thinking too much.
no matter how short, this world is just too pretty to be too cautious. peoples are too lovely to be misjudged, and life is too short to be too whiny. it gets me mad watching those savage arguments over every (big little) things. it gets me even more upset when i met my peoples join the crazy crowd. the time of silence is golden might literally come by now. that kind of silent, its sad ...but God said, dont be sad. i had my benefit of being a millenial though, i am ultra-positive. inhale exhale, okay!
it might be the world. it might be just me. but i do wish i could have again silly sarcastic politic jokes with my christian friends. i wish i could mesmerized over some adorable thin eyes and sassy attitudes of those chinese toddlers. i wish i could discuss (any) religion topics deeply and openly with my fellow friends. all without certain judgements or pretention or silly awkwardness for being cautious, just in case if i could end up hurting or being insensitive. yes, okay, it might be just me, thinking too much.
no matter how short, this world is just too pretty to be too cautious. peoples are too lovely to be misjudged, and life is too short to be too whiny. it gets me mad watching those savage arguments over every (big little) things. it gets me even more upset when i met my peoples join the crazy crowd. the time of silence is golden might literally come by now. that kind of silent, its sad ...but God said, dont be sad. i had my benefit of being a millenial though, i am ultra-positive. inhale exhale, okay!
im afraid of zombie for fun. i prepare emergency kit. im not into
nature nor animals. but of course this world is beautiful. i appreciate life. i love
peoples. i believe in all kindhearted people of all races, disregarding their
annoying local habbits. i like western foods. i want to be a better person. i
believe most people wants it too. im working and praying on my afterlife. i bless
nasa peoples and all peoples in bigger seats. i just found out about the ice
wall. its a lot that i dont know. big chance, i dont know everything, at all.
but i love my family. i do hope we're together until jannah. i am on my way to
understand better about loving because of Allah SWT. may we always have all the
guidance, love, and protection needed. i look up ~~~ i look around.
subhanallah walhamdulillahi walaa illaa ha illallahu allahu akbar.
peluk ~~~
subhanallah walhamdulillahi walaa illaa ha illallahu allahu akbar.
peluk ~~~
