blog

hey, after a while, i found this new blogger interface :) nice...

hmmm, lots to tell... and as usual cant define it good :) but i think i want to talk about friends at first. yeah , of all things happen, of all my deadlines, of all the milestones.

what is friend to me? i was just asking it today. and here now im not going to answer it, i just want to describe where does it come from :) hmmm, well after being a mom, blogwalking is kinda being a kinda refreshing time for me. i wont fake myself saying theyre a friend, although sometimes when i quote their saying, i said i knew it from a friend ( because it would sounded geeky if i told the truth ;p and i might have to bubbling more about that), but well... they on my reading list, been a good friend to me :) bless them. an awesome thing that could be happened when u write. my purest motivation to write (as a professional, not here), to make someone else feel better, like what happened to me after several readings from several particulars. its just too bad that i couldnt be as brave as them yet to (publish) my writings, yet. not only the matter of the lack of writing confidence, but also my consciousness that my bubbling style of talking wasnt something easy or fun to read :p i write for myself, here thats what i do, form follow function... heheh, stop about that.

then today i found out, that i have amazing names on my reading list. like amazing names on my (real) friend list. ok, real friend, u might not pick them yourself, there's a matter of destiny there, considering u cant just delete or edit them as u want. but reading list? hnah... considering who i used to be and what i used to think... its kinda surprising that i dont choose anyone 'good' enough to stay on my reading list, regarding how delightful i am when sometimes i found them on the web. peoples with one hell of a brain and thoughts, and seems not finding any difficulties to spread it along the page. peoples i adore, peoples i envy, peoples i think are may be super great. its not them on my list. people on my list are those ordinary people with ordinary writings and daily crap :) i can tell it really. they are busy talking about sale, lunch, their children fall from a bed, gosipping their friends, and every shallow things you can tell. and definitely not a blog like mine. theyre also sometimes sucks and seems silly with their thought, had me raising my eyebrows like crazy. i oftenly disagree with their thoughts, but its no biggies.
maybe i passed that moment already, to that wacky world of words :) this morning i found one hell of a blog (again). someone with great thoughts and else, leave alone her personality. but then it makes me think. it influences me too much, its like, i dont know am i enlightened or am i bedazzled. it my flaws to be easily distracted, yes. my today becoming grey, until then i found this another blog on my reading list. she is super drama queen, big mouth with big head, bravest girl and mom i ever knew, although people might define it as... sicky ot nuts i dont know. she wrote something... i dont know, i cant even remember what it is :D gotta be something about her delightful family vacation. and then, voila, my mood seems brighter!
i might be such a weak person, but things like these, could really made my day. i like it how they could remind me about how blessed i am :) its like, i might not have the cutest super-loving spouse, or maybe some good special skill of my own, or babies with adorable attitude and any other sweet habbits... i won't say any of that. but im still blessed, and have the right to say that i am, blessed, big time. they remind me that shit happens, but life go on, and there's still so many thing that is wonderful, and shit still happens anyway, but life  again, go on :) its not fake. positivity, i think thats their good influence to me. never ending big thanks. thats how a stupid unprofessional writing could change your life :) think thats why im not very good in writing when im in the middle of something ugly. because, i might not be able to bring out my positivity.
now that im writing, it doesnt mean that im totally leaving all the uglies :) its just that i have something good in my mind already. haha... yea, it was so dark uphere for months, if u noticed my absence lately :D

hmmm, here, let me tell you. i might not able to say so much sweet sparkling words about my family right now, but they really are good peoples... :D haha, ugly statement i know. im not good at this and i dont know how to say it right. hmmm... i wouldnt mind if my life attached to them or their life attached to me, no matter what, for ever. i wouldnt mind being labelled by the name of them, or at worst, i wouldnt mind if being with them means losing my individual identity... :p what about that.... hehe, i couldnt find anything else cute to say...

well, basicly, i think i would be at my ultimate happiest if --- na ah, i cant say it here :p
i just love them. thats all. remember that. always.