she is a fun person, actually. but she has this cranky mood making her somewhat hysterical. easily got panicked, or lost in a deep euphoria, or dramatically drown herself down by such imaginary fear and catastrophe. hwow, its a definitely unhealthy, yes? um... its just that i know that she is not her all the time. i mean, its time who has carried her all the way.
there was a time at school i would say that she is my role model, such an idol character. although i remember i was saying it because i didn't know who else i should admit. but i think its pretty something, at least for someone like me. well, i used to sort myself pretty well i guess. herself coming at my mind by the time isn't instant though. i mean, i remember that i really found certain facts along the way.
i cannot tell much about it. if you ever got a chance to meet her, you'll see. she is lovable, fun, chatty, a bit childish... errr.... or yes, child-like -___-' she is quite interesting, very lively comparing to me. she is such a free thinker trapped in a body full of norms and terms... maybe i'm a bit overrated here. but i think, thats a pretty good term too for her, overrated. ahaha, yes she's just that special.
but still, no lah, i don't want to be like her. and i think she actually wouldn't want me to be like her either. but ever heard the words "a man cursed for won't ever be like his dad, and a woman cursed for gotta be like her mom"... yeah, thats hell scarry... nooo, i don't want to be such an unstable adult laughing and weeping both effortlessly like mooom... gotta ground... gotta ground now...
its just, there's this one thing i found out after i delivered a baby. i was and i maybe still am such a weak, clumsy, careless, stubborn yet vulnerable person turning into a mom. my flaws leads me scared and worried. and by that point i realized, there's this one thing, i ultimately wanted from my mom. of all her flaws, characters, habbits, that could have been been passed to me, i hope there's this one thing (or if its possible, this one thing only =p) been through in my blood. my origin.
it was the love to be me. the happiness for being myself, and not wanting another. another person to be, another person to be with. another world to be lived. another heart and experiences to be in. yeah, of all her flaws i really wondered how she could made me that way. and heartfully hope, that at that point, i could do the same for my baby, for least. yeah, of all her flaws, eventually she filled me good enough.
so kiddo, hail to oma!!! and i, as a loving daughter, as usual, will just be there to poke her :D isn't that cute? ...happy mother's day mama. God knows how worthy you are. i know. and that's not the reason why i love you, so don't you worry :D HUG.
