hello new year ^^

i breathe better. less disoriented work, more appropriate activities. bye bye pill, hello self management ^.^ inhale, exhale. be strong, fight smarter. wait for a good time, be nicer. embrace life, cherish love. stand up for yourself, help the other. i breathe better. i'm literally blessed.

i shop :D i got pretty shelves, storage space got a raise. things become a lot more organized. i dry my hair. i ride car, pretty one. there i put a cute blue cushion. i talk to peoples, it goes deeper in times. i make party, no matter how it turns to be. i do wish, we have plan, and on our way. boy at school, exercise recalling, hello me-time. yes i'm literally blessed. ^^

fu kecil mau 3 taun

Menjelang pesta pertama ^^ ulang taun ketiga si bocah, shaka, tole, shaktol, shaktong, martongtong, sayangnya mama yang nomer satu sedunia raya itu...

Selain dari persiapan pesta yg termasuk kategori super niat utk ukuran mamanya yg gak hobi pesta2an apalagi jd tuan pesta, ada lah yg lain lagi. Insyaallah adalah, bahan jualan yg lain, yg secara tidak langsung akan launching bareng pestanya. I'm now calling it {et.si.tect]

Ya begitulah, sekalinya pesta harus worth it kiri kanan depan belakang atas bawah. Bukan karena gak mau rugi ya fu kecil, cuma supaya mamanya ini lbh pemberani dan tangguh aja nemuin tamu ^.^ as professional.

Jadi udah bisa apa aja yg mau ulang taunan? Banyak pastinya. Kan nomer satu sedunia raya.
Udah bisa berhitung satu-sepuluh dan one-thirteen. Dan mengenali angkanya jg 1-10. Dan mulai aware angka sampe seputaran twenty, 20.
Udah mengenali sebagian besar huruf dlm bahasa enggrees tapi. Yg suka lupa adalah antara 'i' dan 'y', sama yg jarang2 mcm d, f, q, x, dan utk huruf 't' sering disebut mama. Krn mama inisialnya 't' dari tika ^.^
Warna dalam bahasa tentu udah bisa semua. Dlm bhs inggris dlm sebulan terakhir sekolah udah bisa green blue red yellow, sama tau tp suka lupa purple white black...
Perkembangan bahasa inggrisnya jg tampak lumayan, dan trnyt cepet jg. School helps a lot. Skrg udh biasa pake frase 2 kata adjective-objective. Sama daily conversation tampak udh familiar jg.
Mungkin krn sekolah jg, keliatannya si skrg jd agak mau lbh terbuka sama orang lain, khususnya orang baru. Karena sebulan ini sdh sekolah sendiriii \(^_^)/ kelas terakhirnya, udh jalan sendiri masuk kelas sambil manyun, sedikit jeritan nangis anyel, dan udah. Cengengesan aja smp pulang, ketemu di luar kelas. Meskipun masih pe-er utk motivating di pagi hari sebelum berangkat. Hihihi...
Secara fisiiiik, belum ngukur lg. Nanti ya, rencana mau checkup lg segera kok. Tp keliatannya si skrg jd lbh sekel, dan ukuran baju tampak mulai lebih relevan sama umur.
New favorite food? Stroberi tetep, spaghetti tetep, pizza tetep, vitamin, scotts, madu, yupi, lolipop, dan tentu saja aneka kripik pake mecin. Coklat sm es krim ga terlalu hobi. Yg terakhir itu masih di banned si, takut ketagihan, penyakit menurun itu. Hihihi...
Trus udah tau kebanyakan nama alat berat, exca, loader, crane, forklift, kompektor, sheepfoot, grader, lowboy, mixer, driller, traktor, dozer, dan bbrp nama mobil yg bentuknya spesifik, dan mengenali mobil jerman. Kayaknya si semua hafalannya berdasarkan detail bentuk.
Peka pengaturan icon, detail kendaraan, tapi mamanya gonta-ganti wallpaper ipod gak pernah dinotice -___-
Kosa kata udah nggak bisa dicatet lagi si. Krn sekarang sdg sangat ceriwis. Bisa bawel dan ngeyel kalo dimarahin atau dikasitau. But it sometimes helps si, utk ngingetin spy sabar. Because yes, child does imitate, very easily.

"Jangan marah mama, jangan..."
"Kok shaka ditarik siii"
"Jangan gitu mama, jangan..."
"Shaka badannya nggak enak ni..."
"Shaka sumuk ni, harusnya mandi.."
"Shaka udah bau ni, harusnya cawik.."
"Disini sumuk, lengket, harusnya di kamar aja..."
"Oo ya ya ya ya"
"Mau apa kita?"
"Skrg mau apa?" Makan "habis itu?" Mandi "habis itu?" Santai2 "habis itu?" Bobo... Dst. Modusnya nunggu dibilang mau ke mall/supermarket, dan atau waspada sama jadwal sekolah.
"Udah gelap, sekolahnya udah tutup?" Dan kemudian cengengesan lega.
Bahahahahahaha

Yang pasti, mamanya udh pingin mbak baru....
:D

bring it ooon!

Today I found myself seriously thinking, about one job finding for a just-married-sister. About her wedding will be another post. I wanted her to find her dream job. I mean, I know her qualities and else, and that she deserves a great one. Its just, why she didn't get into it this far. Soon I will ask her, her actual vision of dream job.

Meanwhile, I found myself another finding.
In term of job, I always know what I want to do and to be, since I was a kid. And even until now I know, I am (still) capable of doing that. Honestly, sometimes somehow its still haunting me, mesmerizing me. A writer, journalist, columnist, an individual media person with own thought within its world. The vision still remain cool and sparkling to me.

Then one by one the scenes came. I was there, in an interview with a famous editor in chief of a most-famous female intl magazine of a coolest in-town publisher. Hanging on a question, after a deadly brief of a job. A dream job. Mine.
She was explaining, that the position is open. But it takes like a total dedication, includes all the sparks I know. It means hours of overtime, and a working weekend or holiday trip, being socially active, party job thingy yes, yet it takes some qualification. SIGH. Then she asked, "are you the right fun fearless female for this job?" ...DOUBLE SIGH.

Talking about me. I confidently know, I have the qualification. I don't really like partying, but I would like to and will be able to do it, professionally. I like being around of people and gaining any kind of inputs. So, in term of fun, my opennes will lead me to it, and I definitely will have fun too. About fearless, I undoubtly have a lot of fear, but honestly, who doesn't?! But if one really expect me to say how I could represent fearless, I will say. I am fearless, because I'm here explaining this, by bringing only my self and my passion.
Short story, I didn't come for the next stage for the job. I let it go. It was actually heart-breaking. I have another solid and bigger dream. I think the job won't fit in, so then I won't too.
Then I just gone without notice. I got blank for sometimes. All those making me feel like I am no longer qualified, or further more, fun and fearless.
And today, after several paragraphs, I'm gladly pronounce, that I could consider myself as fun, and fearless once again.
Overall that's because I'm daring to let go one coolest dream job. Because I'm daring to choose and decide and still having fun. Because I'm daring to keep dreaming, take the alternative path, and still have faith for what I do.

Later on, the great opportunity came again. This time, it probably was my fav design magazine from UK. But I was in the middle of my pregnancy, while they need me asap for first time launching here in Ina. Smiling and sigh. But I came to the meeting though, talking and explaining.

Well its like, kinda no hope for me working in a magazine full time by now. What I do is to watch and improve.
So, what do I do now? What am I working while running after my super important bigger dream? :p
That's what I found today. In term of job, I found myself another career dream. I warn u, it might sounds cheesy. But it is not, and I am serious.

I will be the great woman behind the great men.
I watch, I learn, I assist, I support, I present, I accompany. I will bring it.
Later on, me, us, will make a comeback.

amen :)

battle of style: the closing

291012

Few days ago, I was kinda remain about a pray, a confusion, and an unsolved question...

Berani karena benar. Takut karena salah.

I might begin with that, but no. That's not positive enough for me. And I'm not supposed to be afraid. I know, I wasn't wrong though.

Dan teringat saat kebingungan beberapa waktu lalu. Kalau bukan orang tua yang pingin punya anak penurut, lalu kemudian apa?

There I was in a situation that remind me why. Why I'm here of all the version of a happy life. Why I don't actually want such only an obey kiddos, even without good reason to say.

Jadilah lebih dari sekadar penurut, fu kecil. Milikilah kekuatan untuk beranjak mencari kebenaran, kenalilah. Milikilah keberanian untuk memilihnya, setulus hati. Milikilah kecerdasan untuk dapat melakukannya, dengan kebaikan.

Peoples remind me about karma. Actually I'm not really sure if its good or bad, doing things this way. But for sure, it isn't easy, technically and mentally. That includes me telling these all to you, too ^^ grow big baby, grow good, grow happy...

Dan ketika terasa sampai di ujung jalan, ternyata kebingungan. Seperti ada kesalahan. Hati dan pikiran, ucapan dan perbuatan, tidak bisa diselaraskan. Maka bukanlah takut. Tetaplah berani, untuk berserah. Yang Maha Kuasa ada di sana, selalu, memeluk.

Never forget, to let God do the rest. Right after you made your steps and pray. Right after you did your best, even at your worst, inside out. Have faith ^^

school boy

Akhirnya mencoba menulis mencicil via bb demi tulisan gak keputus dgn tanggungnya seperti yg lalu :p

Another few days more, and you my dearest lil boy, will start your first day of school. Yes. Not another trial class on the go. But the real one, as an official new student :) in Shining Stars it is.

Its not the first school came to our mind actually, as u can read in my previous post about school plan. But then we made up our mind, regarding the everythings.
And somehow, back to my very first post about dreamlist that includes school looong ago, there you can see the picture of the same school you will enter though :)

There I hope you can have more of the prologue and guidance entering the real world, with near-to-real community and peoples. More of someone and knowledge to trust and count on. More of sometimes and faith to hold on :)

Later we may drown into cheers and joy, as we might slip onto bitter and pain. Later we may find spirit and passion as we might meet words and judges.
Later we may see world at it best, even if there'll always come the rainy days. And later we even may see pieces of peace in a rainy day, laid in only a cup of coffee. Or milk. Or cola :)

I myself might also will start a new phase of being a parent of yours, facing a battle of ideal cultural values, common city issues, life-changing choices, and else. Gyah! :D *anxious already

The thing is, as I ever heard before, that you going to school my boy, is maybe more like a milestone for us, your parents. Its like the words soon to come...

Life is yours baby, make your move, do your choice, don't forget to smile, and embrace it all :) amen.

Ps: the date is tomorrow by now, have fun schooling my toddler boy! ^^