Kamu keterlaluan! after all these times of good and some sorrows this very lately, after all that we've been said and done, how could it happened that we're still going nowhere but here.
Kamu keterlaluan! after all that i've let go, after all that you've been letting go. all the madness, breakdown, exhausts, sorry, good trials, and else, where were they? hey.i.dont.do.lip.service.at.all. so stop.
Kamu keterlaluan! we're pushing each other's limit by now. i don't feel good. and i might not making you feel good. and it can't be over this way. i don't know it how to be over. you cant just saying, "hey this doesn't feel good, then stop it." what, what do you want to stop.
Kamu keterlaluan! you make me sick of this. you make me making you sick. you make me sick of myself. you make me sick all the way. nothings good. yeah. its your fault!
Kamu keterlaluan! how can you laugh on the top of it. how can you make jokes about it. how can you make me deal with it. i dont want to. please, i dont want to deal with everything about it. you are manipulating me. and if you're suceed, you're turning me into a person i don't like. please, don't make me. no, i don't do deal with such things.
Kamu keterlaluan! please stop. please stop. because i'm yours. and i want to say it loud again, that im proudly happily yours.
Kamu keterlaluan! me? no, i haven't gone as far as you done. i haven't been turning into one lost-mad-girl-released-into-town, trust me. you might be able to say the same way, and yes actually it's not really necessary to be said. But at this point, that's what it is.
this is me being honest. i'm sorry if its annoying. this way how i reconcile with myself, it's annoying for myself too. but you have to know this, no matter how i could be this annoying, you've been annoying too. so much. and its no revenge, not at all.
for what's been done, sadly i only have 2 choice. keeping silent, that i'm gonna annoy you for the rest of the days, unsolved. or being annoying this way, for the hope that i/we can fix it all over, facing the real deal. i want to be true, i want it to be the only we can survive things.
and so, this is my truth. this writings might be filled with black mood, anger, desperation, sadness, or anything ugly. but one thing, it's faith for the most. i love you. nevertheless.
i'm sorry for any of my inappropriate flaws,
by appearances and performances, mentally and phisically
"so, what now?" that's what you said. so there might gotta be something. and i kinda figured what it is. as it happened for you to say that, "everything might wouldn't be the same no more". you're somewhat right.
if i cant make you stop saying them to people, can i make you stop saying them to me? maybe i'd like not to hear those sweet words for a while. it makes me sad and mad both way anytime hearing that, for this lately.
well, its torturing both way actually, because in another side, i breathe you... i think i'd do everything to get the truth of it, your words, just like one mad girl released into town ^^ well, you know i'm a-not-so-difficult person yes? lets just hope i can let go and forget the 'mental-breakdown-tension' every time i hear those words of yours ^^
because i love you blaaaah
